He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not. Remember that simple little game you used to play as you picked the pedals off of a flower? If you didn’t play the game when you were growing up perhaps you are experiencing it now.
Unfortunately, it isn’t a game and the stakes are much higher. Perhaps you find yourself at a fork in the road. You no longer feel the love for your spouse and maybe your spouse feels the same way. So, does not being in love mean that your marriage is over?
I’m saddened to say that many couples separate or divorce because of misunderstood feelings. In many cases individuals mistake not being happy or having a feeling that something is lacking as not being in love anymore. In a sense those individuals believe that love brought them together and since love has seemed to disappear the logical thing to do is to part ways.
So why should you stay together if you no longer feel the love connection?
Well, the short answer is because you made a covenant with your spouse and it shouldn’t be broken, based on how you feel.
I assure you that millions of couples who have been married over 25 years will confess to you that at some point during their marriage, love was a question and they didn’t see it ever returning.
You see, falling in love can happen very easily. Falling out of love takes time but it can definitely happen in even the best relationships. The key thing to remember is that love is something you choose to do and not just a feeling.
What happens to most spouses is that they let their differences start to build up a wall between them and their spouse. As a result, there is an disconnect between the spouses and uncertainty about their marriage. Once doubt kicks in it’s hard to feel like you are in love.
So what do you do about your falling out of love?
Well, I think you and I know what you need to do and that is start doing the right things to fix the problems in your marriage, so you feel loved and return to loving your spouse. Remember, it’s not your feelings that need to change it’s how you interact with your spouse.
Please avoid procrastinating and waiting for your spouse to make you feel like loving him or her again. It’s not going to happen unless you start taking the initiative to change the dynamics of your relationship.
Why not start little and work your way up to some bigger things as you work on your relationship. For example;
How about seeing if you can over the next 7 days refrain from being critical or negative toward your spouse and in-fact be respectful, kind and complimentary?
There are so many steps that you can take to improve your marriage and most of them are simple, yet effective.
I know that you feel like your marriage is coming to an end. Please look at this day as a new beginning and new opportunity to change your marriage and how you feel about your spouse. Love is a decision and not just a feeling. Decide to change and you will feel the love again. I’ll be praying for you.