Why dealing with infidelity is so hard is not something you want to be thinking about. However, dealing with infidelity may be one of the hardest obstacles you will ever face in life. It’s not as bad a losing a loved one but its right up there. There are a few things in life that result in great emotional pain and stress and dealing with an affair is one of them. I have some thoughts on why dealing with infidelity is very hard as outlined below.
Why Dealing With Infidelity Is So Hard
Trust is easy to gain in a marriage but extremely difficult to get back when it’s lost. For most couples the marriage takes place based on blind trust. There is for the most part no opportunity to build up trust in the relationship. There is perceived love and based on that perception trust is present in the relationship. The problem is usually the trust was given but not earned. It’s like a bubble just waiting to burst. As soon as the infidelity happens that thin bubble pops and it’s very hard to repair it. Replace the bubble with a broken heart. Once your heart is crushed, its hard to forgive and trust the person who has betrayed you.
Recovering from infidelity requires you to be able to look pass the offense and communicate effectively about the past, present and future. At some point you will need to sit-down and discuss the affair. All of the relevant details must be discussed. I’m not talking about the physical aspects of the affair but the emotional ones. During the communicating sessions there must be honest/open conversations. You must be ready to talk and not argue or fight about the affair. If you are not ready to have civil conversations about the affair, dealing with infidelity might not end successfully.
Restoring a certain level of trust is necessary to deal successfully with infidelity. You have to trust that you can be honest and open. If you can’t have a candid conversation that ends in a positive manner, it will be hard to start the healing process. It’s also hard to recover from infidelity if lying is going on during the restoration process. Although it will be hard to do, you must respect each other. Healing will happen as long as you and your spouse don’t get in the way.
Dealing with infidelity requires deciding what the future will hold. Do you want a future together or would you rather fight over the next 12 months focusing on the pain and destructive behavior? It’s really a choice you need to make. Focus on the past or the future. Work on repaying your spouse or re-igniting the romance with your spouse.
I have no doubt in my mind that you can find success in dealing with infidelity. You will not be the first ones to overcome cheating in a relationship. However, you can be like millions of others who have recovered from an affair. You will no longer be wondering why dealing with infidelity is so hard.
I’m very sorry if you are in the midst of dealing with infidelity. I don’t take lightly the difficulties and challenges you are facing. Please understand and believe that your relationship can be healed. It doesn’t mean that your marriage will necessarily survive the affair. However, with a healed heart and a forgiving spirit you have a good chance of overcoming the cheating. For more guidance on getting past the affair, see here; Dealing With Infidelity