What once was a marriage weaved together with love, trust and commitment is now a bad marriage and you are stuck in it. I’m sure at times you feel as though your only choice is to pack things up and move on as quickly as you can. But there is something holding you back from leaving, and it’s called hope.
The fact that you are still searching for answers or help to fix your marriage is a good sign. It means that although you feel stuck, you are open to getting out of your bad marriage by fixing it. I hope this information builds on your hopes and gets you going in the right direction to repair your marriage.
I know it might not mean much to you but please understand that although you feel depressed, angry and frustrated at this time you are not alone. There are millions of couples going through the same things you and your spouse are going through. Some will make the unfortunate choice of giving up on their marriage. Others will make some changes and fix their marriage. I hope you join the latter group.
One of the keys to changing a bad marriage is recognizing that you are in one. It’s very easy to be in denial when it comes to facing marriage problems. It’s painful and sometimes hard to admit that you are having marriage problems. For some couples it’s seen as an admission of failure. No one likes to admit that their marriage has failed.
Sometimes it’s hard to change a bad marriage because it’s hard to change. We all get used to things going a certain way and it’s hard to change. It’s insanity to keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. If you want to change your marriage you have to be willing to change your thinking and perhaps some of your ways.
When you are stuck in a bad marriage;
You find fault with mostly everything your spouse does. Even if he is trying to do something good or right, you find it necessary to critique him or point out what he hasn’t done. Sometimes you need to pause for just a moment and realize that what you are saying is actually mean and very detrimental to your relationship. It’s hard to bring your relationship to a higher level when you are consistently attacking your spouse.
If most of your conversations consist of yelling, or displaying angry or frustrated facial expressions then you are probably in a bad situation. Sometimes your marriage will also suffer if you constantly play the silent game and refuse to talk. If you don’t change your communication methods you can’t fix your marriage.
You always feel like you are right and your spouse never seems to care or consider your points of view. You often feel like you are giving 100% but your spouse is giving less than 50%. You feel like you are living with a stranger, disconnected and unloved. It’s hard to have a working marriage when you appear to be on different planets.
Your spouse never seems interested in talking about fixing your marriage problems and you feel all alone in fighting this battle. It’s easy to feel stuck when you are the only one pulling to make things better.
Tips To Fix Your Bad Marriage
- Get out of your comfort zone and try something different. Don’t wait for your spouse to change to improve your marriage. Why not stretch yourself and do some things that you have never done or perhaps haven’t done in a while. Be nice, be supportive, take an interest in your spouse’s work or be creatively romantic.
- Give your marriage a clean start. It’s hard to improve your marriage when you hold onto the past. If you are stuck cherishing the fond relationship you once had you will never create new memories in the future. Just the same if you can’t forgive past wrongs it’s hard to move forward and enjoy the present marriage you have. Make a decision today to live for today and commit to fixing your marriage now, before it’s too late.
- Don’t spend all your time and energy trying to change your spouse to fix your marriage. You will continue to be frustrated and fail. What you want to do is change yourself and how you interact and react to your spouse. Your spouse will then see the changed you and begin to change how he or she interacts and treats you.
There is little doubt in mind that if it’s your hearts desire you can change and save your marriage. There are so many things you can do to show your love, support and appreciation for your spouse and family. Take time to do the little things and watch ho your marriage slowly but surely transforms.