It’s very easy to know when you are having marriage trouble. You feel miserable and often contemplate being apart from your spouse. However, there are times when marriages are in trouble and other times when they are in crisis. I hope the following information can help you gauge if your marriage is in trouble or crisis.
There are some marriage problems that most couples experience and they usually find a way to navigate through them. For example;
You find yourself or your spouse wanting some space or alone time when you both are at home. Although this sounds like a big problem it really is quite normal. Please don’t panic and think your marriage is coming to an end or is in a crisis. Anytime you live with someone day-in and day-out you are bound to get on each others nerves from time-to-time.
Another marriage problem that you might be experiencing is you or your spouse complaining to family or friends about your marriage problems. It is problematic when you are breaking the trust and confidence in your marriage but it isn’t a crisis. It is more a sign of immaturity and frustration.
One other example of a marriage problem is that you find yourself arguing constantly over non important matters. This is generally a sign of a marriage with a lot of unresolved marital issues or conflicts. I have known couples who have fought weekly for 5 years straight and ended up being the most loving couple you would ever meet. The reason why they were able to grow and move beyond the often selfish behaviors which leads to fighting is that they always fought fair and rarely made personal, hurtful statements to their spouse. They also didn’t drag others into their disagreements. Fighting in your marriage is normal and not necessarily a crisis.
Now here are some signs that you marriage is in crisis.
One sign that your marriage might be in crisis is if you or your spouse become attracted to members of the opposite sex. There is very little that can break a marriage like infidelity. Please don’t treat your feelings of being attracted to someone else as normal and innocent.
It’s like playing with matches in a dry forest. The attraction might start out as playful lust but before you know it you will be dreaming and thinking about sleeping with this other individual. If you find yourself putting on clothes or fragrances or hanging out places where you expect to run into the person you have become attracted to, beware. Trouble is knocking at your door.
Another sign that your marriage might be in crisis is if you or your spouse find that someone else is better suited to help you navigate through your emotional ups and downs. If you are relying on someone other than your spouse to share your feelings (good or bad) with then you are probably dealing with a crisis situation.
One other sign that your marriage might be in crisis is if one or both of you let the arguments turn physical. If there is any hitting, throwing of objects, or breaking of items, then you have a crisis on your hand, that is likely to spiral out of control.
Please understand that marriage problems or a marriage crisis doesn’t have to continue to be a part of your marriage. The solution is not divorce, unless you have exhausted all other options.
If you want to better your marriage, starting today, please take a moment to read about saving your marriage starting today. See here, Saving Your Marriage Today