Can you save the marriage when only one of you wants to fix a relationship? Well, although it is more challenging to save your marriage with an uncaring and uncommitted partner, it is still possible to repair a relationship alone. Obviously, you will need your spouse to get on board at some point during the process, but you can’t let his or her lack of interest deter you from saving your marriage.
One option to try to save the marriage is to participate in marriage counseling. There are many couples who are at the point in their marriage where marriage counseling can help. It is a touchy and difficult situation though when both individuals aren’t really open to counseling. Unfortunately, if it’s not the right time it can have just the opposite affect. Instead of fixing a relationship, sometimes the couple just ends up hurting each other and it makes saving the marriage harder to succeed at.
I would say that, if you think marriage counseling is an option, bring it up in a non-confrontational discussion with your spouse. Make sure it’s a conversation and not an argument when you bring it up. Also, I don’t think that you should make threats to scare your spouse into counseling. For example, don’t say “if we don’t go to marriage counseling, I’m filing for divorce”. This will make your spouse defensive and back you into a corner.
Immediate Steps To Save The Marriage
First, I would recommend that you try to re-establish civil communication with your spouse. Generally, when couples are experiencing serious marriage problems and have a need to fix a relationship that has been broken for a while, communication is non-existent. The only words spoken are those that are necessary like “I’m working late tonight” or “I need you to pick up Jimmy after his soccer game”. The only other meaningful conversation takes place during arguments.
Can I remind you how much better your relationship will be if you find a way to just talk kindly to each other and not take every opportunity available to bash each other. This requires continually thinking before you speak and sometimes biting your tongue. The good thing is that you can start to save the marriage by not engaging in petty fights and arguments. Even if your spouse still wants to be negative and sarcastic and itching for a verbal war, just smile, say I love you and stay on the path of saving your marriage.
Second, if you want to fix a relationship, you have to know what’s broken. If you haven’t taken some time recently to figure out what’s leading you to need to save the marriage, now is the time to do so. Couples sometimes have so many little problems that together they look insurmountable. I would suggest that you come up with a list of the problems that you believe are keeping you from being happily married and make sure you start to get to the real cause of the problem.
Finally, I would suggest that you begin to act like you are going to be married to your wonderful spouse for the rest of your life. I realize that your spouse might not be acting like a person who wants to be married but don’t retaliate and act the same way. Please hang in there and continue to love, cherish and support your spouse to help save the marriage and fix your broken relationship. Believe you can save the marriage and your actions and interactions with your spouse will reflect your beliefs and desire.