How To Help A Marriage

Learning how to help a marriage is more about deciding to help your marriage succeed and then taking the right steps at the right time to make it come true. You and your spouse make numerous choices every day that is either helping or hurting your marriage. Sometimes just the way you engage in conversation or decide to be distant just because. No one wants to be around a mean spirited cold partner. You probably have many questions like “How can I save my marriage?” or “Where do I start to fix my marriage?”.
Well, you will find some answers here to help your marriage.

Ways To Help Your Marriage

I’m sure you have heard this before but it’s worth repeating. Before you can improve your marriage you have to know what needs improving. If you are like the average spouse you probably think that you are not the problem in your marriage but your spouse is. Unfortunately when a spouse is not willing to examine ways to help your marriage then you are already setting yourself up for failure. If you think you are not part of the problem in your marriage just ask your spouse or take a long look in a mirror.

I know you would love to make a wish and have your dream marriage come true. You can How To Help Our Marriagewave a wand or break a wishbone or perhaps find a four leaf clover. You cab try all three and it still won’t fix your marriage. It will give you something to talk about do very little to figure out how to help a marriage in trouble.

Remember I mentioned choices earlier. Now is a great time for you to start making some choices which could possibly help you figure out save your marriage today. Here are a few choices you may want to think about.

1. Do you try to fix your marriage on your own or motivate your spouse to join you in the fight to save your marriage?

2. Are you willing to invite others into your inner circle to try to help you fix your marital problems?

3. What are you willing to give up or change for the sake of saving your marriage?

4. How much longer are you willing to fight for your marriage?

5. What are the three most important obstacles keeping you from being happily married?

6. Are you ready to deal with the real issues in your marriage or will you or your spouse reject any possibility of healing your broken relationship?

7. Can you forgive past offenses and will your spouse truly forgive you for things you may have done in the past?

You might stumble upon some information on line that advertising fixing your marriage even if your spouse is unwilling to. You can fix a broken chair or perhaps a broken door handle but I assure you will have a difficult time fixing your marriage problems if your spouse is unwilling to cooperate. Unless you are 99% of the reason why your marriage is struggling, you need to be working with your spouse to save your marriage.

When it comes to saving a marriage, sometimes you need an objective 3rd party to help you fix your marriage. It could be a counselor, therapist or honest and courageous friend. I know it’s hard to be transparent in-front of someone else and air all of your dirty laundry. However, should pride get in the way of saving your marriage? Yes you can win the battle sometimes and yet lose the war. You don’t have to empty your skeletons out of the closet how to help our marriageall at once. Whoever you end up letting help you can build up the relationship until you are comfortable discussing personal matters.

Some spouses say they want a strong healthy marriage but are unwilling to make sacrifices to get where they need to be. Some husbands refuse to give up their night out with the guys and thus their wife continues to believe she is #2 in her husband’s eyes. This can lead to bitterness and resentment. You must be willing to compromise and not be selfish. If you have a “what’s in it for me?” attitude your marriage will continue to struggle. Remember, marriage is a marathon and not a sprint. Continue the journey and make sure it’s about you and your spouse, not just you.

Figuring out ways to help your marriage can be frustrating and tiring. You will find yourself wondering how much longer you can go. On the good days you will feel as though time is on your side and however long it takes to save your marriage, you will be there. Then there will be days when you feel like throwing in the towel. My advice is that you continue to fight for your marriage until you have exhausted all options.

Help Our Marriage – What To Do Starting Today

One of the easiest things you can do to start helping your marriage improve is guard your mouth. You can easily change the relationship by saying the right thing, at the right time in the right way. Think before you speak and your words will be more helpful than harmful. Words are very powerful and what you say can’t be taken back. Make sure you are being respectful and positive when conversing with your spouse as good attitude goes a long way towards helping your marriage improve.

Now what?

I’m so delighted that you are looking for ways to improve your marriage. I realize that having marital problems can be overwhelming and difficult to live through. The good news is that you don’t have to solve all of your marital problems in one night. Remember to take one step at a time. See here for more information on saving your marriage.

Posted in Help In Marriage | Comments Off on How To Help A Marriage

Husband Cheating With Coworker

Are you worried about your husband cheating with coworker? If you are you will no doubt need to take the necessary steps to either confirm your suspicions or prove yourself wrong. I hope it’s the latter. Have you given thought to what you would do if you caught him cheating with a coworker? I’m sure it’s something that has crossed your mind but although you might see signs of your husband having an affair, until you know for sure it’s hard to believe it.

Signs Of Husband Cheating With Coworker

  1. Your Husband Communicates Outside Of Work With The Coworker – Very often when spouses are having an affair they are either very secretive and try to hide any hint that they are having an affair or think because they speak openly about the person you won’t think much of the relationship.
  2. Other Folks Talk About Them A lot – If you hear from different folks how great the chemistry is between your husband and some other woman, be weary. Unless your husband and the coworker are on dancing with the stars then chemistry shouldn’t be present in the working relationship.
  3. Your Husband Buys Her Gifts – Buying gifts for all of the coworkers in the office is a noble idea. However, buying desk calendars for all the folks except one person and buying her flowers, jewelry or heart-shaped chocolates is unacceptable.

If you suspect your husband is cheating with a coworker, you need to focus on his activities and catch him before it is too late. It will be too late if he falls in love with her and wants a divorce or if you are so broken and torn apart that you are unable to forgive him and take him back after his infidelity.

It is much easier to catch a cheating husband these days. Years ago you had to hire a private detective or trail him after he left work to see where he goes. Nowadays you can check his text messages or read his emails, tweets or other social media posts to nail him. Just keep checking up on him and either he will slip up or his coworker will. Very rarely does cheating go on without someone spilling the beans.

Here’s a pretty bold step to take if you are getting nowhere in seeing if your husband is cheating with a coworker. Make a surprise visit to his job. Bring him some lunch or stop by just because. If he or others are very uncomfortable with you being around your suspicions might be valid. If no one knew he was married then your problem is probably bigger than you think.

The best advice that I can give you is invest in your marriage. If you still love your husband and you want to keep your marriage together, don’t let up. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to try to save your marriage. If your husband is cheating with a coworker you can repair your broken marriage. Unfortunately, millions of other spouses have had to overcome this difficult obstacle in their relationship. There is no reason why your marriage can’t survive your husband cheating with coworker.

Posted in Help In Marriage | Comments Off on Husband Cheating With Coworker

Help With Cheating Wife

I know its difficult searching for help with cheating wife issues. Trying to keep your anger and pride in check is stressful. Regardless of what problems you’re dealing with it still hurts like heck to have your wife cheat on you. I hope this helps you in dealing with your cheating wife issue.

Don’t Make Assumptions About Your Cheating Wife

Just because your wife is having an affair it doesn’t mean she no longer wants to be married to you. I realize that is hard to believe when you first find out that your wife has cheated. In fact, even after a period of time has passed, the thought of your wife still loving you after cheating is a hard concept to accept. Whether you accept it or not it could be true. Your wife can cheat on you and still love you.

Give Your Marriage Time To Heal

The knee jerk reaction by most guys upon finding out about an affair is to either leave immediately or kick their cheating spouse out. Keep in mind that in order for your marriage to heal you have to still have a relationship. Healing will not occur overnight. It could take weeks or months before you are able to fix your broken marriage.

Don’t set unrealistic time frames for everything to be resolved. Your wife’s cheating didn’t just happen over night and there are some issues on your marriage that need to be worked out. It will take time to sort through the issues. What you want to see and experience is progress. In a week or month you should feel better that you do today. If you don’t then you are focusing on the wrong things as a couple.

Don’t Push Your Wife Away

Your wife has choices to make regarding your marriage and her future. There is a reason why she chose to have an affair. It could be either emotionally or physical but there is a reason. You have a choice to make know as well You either work on understanding why she cheating or just hate on her and push her away for good.

I’m by no means suggestion that you instantly forgive her and move on. However, if your number one goal is to punish her for cheating then you will leave her no option. Humble yourself and take some responsibility for your wife cheating and work with her to heal your marriage.

Resist The “Do Unto Others Mindset”

It’s very easy to rationalize in your head that it’s ok for you to have an affair since your wife has had one. Now is not the time to do unto others as they have done unto you. You know that two wrongs don’t make a right. It’s not ok for you to cheat on your spouse just because she cheated on you. What that would do is double the pain in the marriage. You are better than that, I hope.

Obviously dealing with infidelity in marriage will be one of the most difficult obstacles you will ever face. Please don’t think you have to walk this road alone. If you can use some advice on how to survive and affair, please see here; Dealing With Infidelity

Posted in Help In Marriage | Comments Off on Help With Cheating Wife

How To Cope With Your Husband Cheating On You

Learning how to cope with your husband cheating on you will be one of the hardest things you will ever do in life. I know you are experiencing serious doubt that you will be able to cope with infidelity. No one who has survived an affair thought that they could. Your heart and mind are in a tug of war with divorce on one side and staying together on the other side. There is no simple answer to cope with a cheating spouse. However, there is one thing you can feel good about and it is that other women have figured out how to forgive a cheating husband and live in love, peace and harmony.

What’s the number one tip I could give you for learning how to cope with a cheating husband? It’s to be calculating in your decision making. Also, to be overly cautious and patient in the steps you take to mend your broken marriage back together, if that’s what you choose to do.

It’s hard to say whether a relationship will survive an affair. Your cheating husband may not even want to be married any longer. That’s a choice he has to make. By his cheating I know you believe he doesn’t want to be married. If truth be told I think that’s a good assumption. However, just because your husband has had a lapse of judgment it doesn’t mean that he is ready to throw in the towel. So what’s next?

With your husband having an affair the obvious first step to overcoming his cheating is him ending the affair. You can’t overcome an affair if it’s still going on. It has to end or your marriage has to end. They can’t co-exist. You don’t want to be in such an unhealthy and damaging relationship, trust me. So once the affair has ended the road to forgiveness and healing can begin.

Five Questions To Ask Your Cheating Husband

  1. Is the affair over?
  2. Are there any reasons for you to have further contact with this person (children, legal attachments etc)?
  3. Are you willing to work through the marital problems?
  4. Who else knows about the affair?
  5. Why did he have the affair?

You don’t have to use the above questions but you do need to come up with questions that will give you a sense that he is willing to save your marriage.

What you can’t do is go into a shell and fail to communicate your feelings and needs. That’s a recipe for unnecessary pain, frustration and an inevitable date in divorce court.

You must know what you need to cope with your husband’s affair. Your husband must know what he needs to do to earn back your trust and your heart.

Learning how to cope with your husband cheating on you is hard but not impossible. The key is to do the right things at the right time and you will give your marriage the best chance to survive your husband’s cheating.

For more helpful tips on overcoming a cheating husband, please see here; Dealing With Infidelity

Posted in Help In Marriage | Comments Off on How To Cope With Your Husband Cheating On You

Help Dealing With A Cheating Spouse

Is help dealing with a cheating spouse even available when your spouse doesn’t care about your marriage anymore? It’s a scary thought that you might have to endure the pain of infidelity and have no help available. I can tell you that dealing with a cheating spouse situation is never easy but it is always possible. You have a few options for finding help to overcome this difficult obstacle in your life.

Option 1 – Find A Good Marriage Counselor

Option 2 – Find A Trustworthy Family Member Or Friend

Option 3 – Use Resources Available On The Internet

Option 4 – Local Library Resources Can Be A Great Help

Option 5 – Purchase A Helpful Resource On The Internet Pertaining To Infidelity

Option 6 – Get Help From Your Cheating Spouse To Deal With The Affair

What’s the best option in seeking help dealing with a cheating spouse? I would say there isn’t a best option. What I believe you need to be successful is incorporate a little bit of a few options. Find help from someone who you can trust with such sensitive information. It might be someone who can simply listen to you vent and get out your frustrations.

Read up on how others have dealt with infidelity. Don’t just look for the happy ending stories. You need to know what mistakes to avoid so you don’t end up hurt again and again and find yourself in a bitter divorce.

Find out what works best for you and lean on that option. Do you learn better by reading, listening or watching? You have at your disposal a mountain of information on cheating. You just have to sift through the non-sense to get to the information you need to overcome the affair.

There are many good objective marriage counselors available to help you. Google marriage counselors and include the state and city you live in. You will find quite a few choices.

Family members can help you navigate through this difficult time. Just make sure you discuss it with someone who will not gossip about it or it could make the situation more difficult. You don’t want to involve someone who will just be an extension of your bitterness and anger.

Again, lots of information is available online. Start with this site and see if the guidance here can help you. If not, continue to search for answers to help dealing with a cheating spouse.

Posted in Infidelity In Marriage | Comments Off on Help Dealing With A Cheating Spouse

Help With Marriage Issues

Whether we are willing to admit it publicly or not we all need help with marriage issues. I hope you don’t feel alone in your struggle to make your marriage better. Despite what you see on television, in the movies or on the internet, there are no perfect marriages. What you see is only what others allow you to see. Marriage issues are very common. How couples deal with them ultimately helps determine the outcome of their marriage.

I know it’s hard to find the right help, to make your marriage better. There are so many books and podcasts and forums you can join to obtain marriage advice. The problem with all of this information is that you run the risk of information overload. You take in too much advice, often times conflicting advice. You end up not knowing for sure, what’s the right thing to do.

The following simple but effective tips should help with marriage issues;

Be The Best Spouse You Can Be

It’s very easy to do unto others as they do unto you. In other words, when you are dealing with marriage issues, it’s easy to treat your spouse no better than he or she treats you. So, if your spouse is nice to you one day and petty and argumentative the next day, you are the same way.

Perhaps your spouse is rarely kind with words or deeds and thus neither are you.

Don’t be like your spouse but strive to be better than your spouse. Make it a practice to be kind, considerate and loving towards your spouse, regardless of how your spouse is acting towards you.

Knowing that you are trying your best to overcome your marriage issues will make you feel better and could rub off on your spouse, and change his or her behavior.

Give Your Spouse A Second Chance

Remembering that none of us are perfect, give your spouse a chance to rebound from a mistake. If you have forgiven your spouse for a past mistake, let it go. Don’t keep bringing it up, over and over again. Old issues have a tendency to bring up hurtful feelings, and may set your relationship back. To go forward and move beyond your marriage issues it helps to truly forgive.

Marriage issues are not easy to overcome but millions of couples do so every single day. You have an opportunity starting today to get your marriage back on track. It doesn’t matter what the obstacle is. Financial issues in a marriage can be overcome, especially if you communicate openly and honestly. Infidelity is difficult but not impossible to get through. It takes time and effort but you won’t be the first couple successfully overcoming an affair.

I hope this helps you in some way. For more help with marriage issues, please see here; Help With Marriage Problems

Posted in Help In Marriage | Comments Off on Help With Marriage Issues

Help My Marriage Is Breaking Down

Dealing with marriage problems is difficult to say the least. When your heart is saying help my marriage is breaking down but your pride is stopping you from actually seeking help, you feel trapped and alone. The more your marriage breaks the more difficult a task it will be to fix it.

The good news is that you haven’t given up on your marriage yet. The simple fact that you are looking for answers for your marriage that is breaking down is a positive thing. What’s keeping your marriage together? Whatever it is, it’s strong enough to hold it together until repairs are done to you relationship.

One thing you must consider is what can you do to get your marriage back on track? Not to say that your spouse doesn’t have a lot of work to do. However, considering that your spouse is not going to change overnight, what can you do to make your relationship better immediately? Are you willing to do the following?

Be Kind – Having or showing a friendly, generous, sympathetic, or warm-hearted nature.

Be Patient – Bearing or enduring pain, difficulty, provocation, or annoyance with calmness.

Be Forgiving – Inclined or able to forgive and show mercy.

Not Be Envious – Having a feeling of resentful discontent.

Not Dishonor Your Spouse – To bring shame or disgrace upon or to treat in a disrespectful or demeaning manner.

Not Be Easily Angered – Not have a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.

There are so many positive steps you can take to stabilize your marriage and begin the restoration process. You can’t rebuild what has been loss overnight. However, there is no reason why step by step you can’t put the broken pieces back together.

I want to help you do just that. The first step you have already taken and for that I commend you. Many spouses in your shoes just give up. They don’t want to break up but without some answers to end their frustrations, divorce is inevitable.

I’m glad you are now heading in the right direction. Your heart saying help my marriage is breaking down can be a thing of the past. Continue to find solutions to your marital problems and things will get better sooner than you hoped for.

If you need more information fixing your broken marriage see here;  Fixing Your Marriage

Posted in Help In Marriage | Comments Off on Help My Marriage Is Breaking Down

How To Thrive In A Difficult Marriage

I know it’s hard to believe that you can figure out how to thrive in a difficult marriage. Keeping a positive outlook can only take you so far, right? Words sometimes have very little meaning when reality paints a different picture. What are your options when struggling in your marriage?

Option 1 – Put Up With The Difficult Marriage

How To Thrive In A Difficult Marriage

Difficult Marriage?

Sure, it is possible to survive a difficult marriage. Living in a difficult marital relationship causes quite a bit of stress on the mind and the body. However, there are millions of couples putting up with the uncaring, inconsiderate and often times selfish behavior of a spouse. Could it be that you are that spouse?

I’m positive you often think does it make sense to put up with it when you are miserable 5 or 6 days a week? You have to ask yourself some tough questions, such as;

  • Why is our relationship so difficult?
  • What can I change to make things better?
  • How much longer will I be able to stick it out?
  • What happens if I we decide to end the marriage?
  • What will happen if I make demands for changing the relationship?

Putting up with a difficult marriage for a period of time is not too bad. However, if issues will always be in the center of the relationship, it’s going to be hard to survive. You or your spouse will grow weary and choose to end the marriage. You have to find a way to improve your marriage before it’s too late.

Option 2 – Change Your Difficult Marriage

Contrary to popular belief it is possible to turn a bad or difficult marriage around. I don’t know any married couples who have or ever had a perfect marriage. Most start off great, at least they think it’s great and slowly but surely begin to see their differences get revealed. Before you know it you aren’t quite sure who you married.

There is an adjustment period after the honeymoon and about 2 years into the marriage. Personal preferences begin to rise up and before you know it things get a bit difficult.

The good news is that it’s never too late to change your marriage. I know couples who were in the Lawyers office and found a way to reconcile their broken marriage. You have the wisdom and wherewithal to change your marriage and your future. The question is, do you really want to?

Option 3 – End Your Difficult Marriage

I really won’t spend much time on this option as I believe it should only be done if all other options have failed, more than once.

Divorce is an ugly beast that you want to avoid, if possible. Don’t give into the temptation of taking what seems to be the easy way out of your difficult marriage. Divorce is hard and unpleasant most of the time. Something seems to happen to folks when the reality of breaking up sets in. Think twice before going down the divorce road.

How To Thrive In A Difficult Marriage

Pick Your Issues Carefully – Don’t let anything and everything your spouse does get under your skin. Deal with the issues that matter and let the non-issues go.

Show Your Spouse Respect – It’s easy to become disrespectful in a marriage when you no longer care or feel loved. Do the right thing even if it doesn’t feel right.

Find Ways To Enjoy Life – Take advantage of the opportunities you have to enjoy life and don’t live in a bad marriage bubble. A bad marriage bubble is when you stop living life due to shame, frustration and embarrassment. In other words, don’t avoid family, friends or social events just because you and your spouse are having marital issues. Don’t let your marriage suck the joy out of your life.

Learning how to thrive in a difficult marriage is easy if you have the right perspective. Sometimes it just takes a little reminder to get folks to realize that life doesn’t end just because of a struggling marriage. Make some changes and get your marriage back on track.

Please know that the marriage you have now that is frustrating and disappointing doesn’t have to stay that way. Don’t buy into the belief that it’s just the way marriage is or a leopard can’t change his spots. You have the power to get the marriage you so need and desire. If you need more guidance on keeping your marriage together, please see here; Difficult Marriage.

Posted in Help In Marriage | Tagged , | Comments Off on How To Thrive In A Difficult Marriage

Ashley Madison Hack Confession

So today it was disclosed that the Ashley Madison database has been hacked and millions of clients are at risk of being exposed. I can assure you that there are some very nervous people who will have trouble sleeping tonight.

I can’t imagine the anxiety cheating spouses must be feeling wondering what the hacking folks will do with the information. When will it be disclosed and how will the data be accessed. Will my spouse or family read my name, some must be thinking.

It’s a shame that those worries exist but the truth of the matter is Ashley Madison claims millions use their site to have discrete affairs. Fortunately or unfortunately the secret just might be exposed.

A lot will come of this hacking scandal at Ashley Madison.

  1. Some partners will find out about infidelity for the first time.
  2. There will be a lot of hurt, pain and shame if the list goes public.
  3. Less people may be willing to use the service to have an affair.
  4. Some marriages will be saved and others will be lost.
  5. Couples engaged or thinking about getting married may split.

I confess that my name will not be found on the database unless someone with my name used the service. I also don’t have any concerns that my wife’s name will show up. Can you say the same?

Cheating is not something that was discovered by Ashley Madison. However, allowing folks to cheat anonymously is a little new age. To get folks to trust that an orchestrated affair will remain private is remarkable. How anyone can be that trusting is amazing. Yet, millions do trust.

Infidelity is the same as it was since the beginning of time. A promise is made and is broken based on love and lust. Love makes you promise to be faithful and lust lures you into breaking that promise.

If you are worried about infidelity then something is awry in your relationship. Having an affair is not something folks plan on doing when they first meet and fall in-love. Somehow the temptation to cheat becomes more powerful than the marital bond.

The key to not worrying about the Ashley Madison site is to build a strong marriage with safe guards and boundaries so there is strength to resist the affair. The temptation will be there all the time. It takes a strong relationship for folks to resist the urge to cheat.

If you or your spouse show up on the Ashley Madison list or if you are concerned about infidelity, please read this; Help With Infidelity

Posted in Help In Marriage | Comments Off on Ashley Madison Hack Confession

The Biggest Marriage Problem You Have Is?

What is the most frustrating aspect of your marriage? Perhaps you are struggling financially and it’s causing tension in your home. Maybe, you lack communication skills and thus you are having a hard time being on the same page. Dare I mention that could it be that lack of intimacy is dividing you? Although these are all some pretty big problems none of them are the main problem in your marriage.

The biggest problem with your marriage is you and your spouses’ ability to make decisions. Every problem you are working through was created by a decision and can be resolved by a decision. Let’s dig a little deeper.

Marriage Communication Problems

Communication plays a major role in any relationship, especially marriage. At the center of communication are the decisions leading up to the communication. Some decisions to be made are;

  • Share or withhold information
  • Use encouraging or discouraging words
  • Listen with an open or closed mind
  • Play the silent treatment game or converse with your spouse freely
  • Communicate respectfully or disrespectfully

Marriage Financial Problems

Money can easily place a wall between two individuals. Lack of money can be stressful and result in frustration and dissatisfaction. Some choices are;

  • Spend as an individual or with your spouses’ best interest at heart
  • Refuse to compromise with your spouse on priorities or be considerate of his or her preferences
  • Deciding to maintain a certain lifestyle or adjust to ensure financial challenges can be overcome

Marriage Intimacy Problems

Experiencing intimacy problems can spill over into every other aspect in your marriage. Some choices you have to make are;

  • Being intimate only when things are going your way or on a consistent basis
  • Using intimacy as a reward or punishment
  • Connecting physically but not emotionally with your spouse

Marriage problems start and end with decisions we make. Very simple concept but 100 percent true. What we decide to say and do or not say and not do directly impacts the success of our marriage. So what’s the key?

The key is to think before we speak or act. The results will be much better when you think about the positive and negative effect of your words or actions. Just because you have the right to say and do things doesn’t mean you have to. Your decisions dictate how your relationships will turn out. Make better decisions and your marriage will be better.

Please know that the marriage you have now that is frustrating and disappointing doesn’t have to stay that way. Don’t buy into the belief that it’s just the way marriage is or a leopard can’t change his spots. You have the power to get the marriage you so need and desire. If you need more guidance on keeping your marriage together, please see here; Help In Marriage

Finally, my thoughts and prayers go out to you and your spouse during this difficult period of your marriage. I have been where you are and can tell you that married life is so much better once you get over this hump. Again, for help in fixing your marriage, please read more here; Marriage Problems

Posted in Help In Marriage | Comments Off on The Biggest Marriage Problem You Have Is?