Have you been thinking or saying to yourself, “my marriage needs help” recently? Perhaps you have been struggling with finding help with fixing your marriage for what seems like forever. The good news is that my instincts tell me there is an answer to help you solve your marriage needs. We just need to get you the right solution to help you and your spouse improve your marriage.
I know sometimes it seems like trying different things to fix your relationship is a waste of time. You talk, cry and make promises to each other to do the right things to improve your marriage. You see an immediate change of attitude and atmosphere in your marriage and home. The problem is that the changes don’t take root and before you know it you are back to being frustrated and hopeless.
Have you ever wondered why if we know our marriage needs help and we know if things don’t get better it could be over we still don’t change? Well I believe it comes down to two reasons;
First of all we are creatures of habit. We usually have developed our personalities, traits and behaviors by the time we get married. The fact that we tied the knot didn’t change us. Every married individual has some built in programming that takes time to undo.
It is important to realize though that you can’t make your spouse change. If your marriage is going in the right direction you and your spouse will be doing the things that move you closer to one another. When your marriage needs help you most likely feel as though you are moving further apart.
The second reason why our marriages often times need help is because we are prideful individuals. We have a desire to always be right even if it means hurting others. The competitive nature in each of us makes us want to win.
Have you ever gone out of your way to make sure your spouse came around to see things your way? Perhaps you even went so far as to let your relationship suffer just enough until your spouse came crawling back to you waving the white flag and admitting defeat.
I don’t know about you but it gets tiring to me fighting about non important matters and creating a hostile environment in my marriage and home. It took me a while to learn this but the only issues you should be fighting about are those which are hurting your marriage. For example;
- If your spouse is spending way to much time at work and not enough time being a spouse and a parent, fight until some compromises are agreed upon.
- If your spouse has friends of the opposite sex that he or she insist on hanging around or spending to much time with, and it’s bugging the heck out of you, work on resolving the issue.
- Perhaps your spouse is not being supportive of your goals, dreams or desires or even your relationship with your in-laws.
The main objective when it comes to fighting is that you should only be wasting your time and energy on matters that have long-term implications on your relationship. Winning an argument is not as important as keeping your marriage strong and healthy.
As I like to say my “My Marriage Needs Help” is something every married person has thought or is thinking. Unfortunately many spouses ignore the warning signs and before you know it their marriage is in need of some serious marriage counseling or therapy.
My hope is that some of the articles on the Help In Marriage site give you some ideas on meeting your needs and helping you and your spouse build a solid and unbreakable marriage bond.