What do you do when you know that you need marriage help but marriage counseling is out of the question? Well in my opinion you still get marriage counseling but not the one that comes to mind when you think about fixing your marriage problems.
Getting help in marriage is what is important right? Does it matter if it’s sitting on a couch talking with a marriage counselor or sitting with a support group or perhaps learning what to change and how to change by reading or listening to others who have been in your shoes?
Marriage problems are like a bad toothache sometimes. When it’s just starting out you kind of wait to see if it’s going to go away on its own so you ignore the minor pain. Then because you ignore the problem tooth the pain gets worse and then you look for some pain relief. Once the pain is unbearable you really don’t care who helps you to get rid of the pain you just want it gone. Marriage help is pretty much the same in that it doesn’t matter where your solutions come from as long as they are the right ones for your situation.
Marriage Tips When Marriage Counseling Is Off The Table
Let’s face it most couples will not turn to a marriage counselor for marriage help. Fear of letting down your guard and admitting your failures and weaknesses to your spouse and someone else is not easily done. Many couples fight so long about finding help in marriage problem resolution that this is what pushes them over the edge. It’s a shame that there is so much energy and passion in resisting change and marriage help that with just a little redirection of focus and priorities a lot of marriages could be saved.
The first suggestion that I would make regarding marriage counseling is that if you or your spouse are totally against seeing a counselor don’t let that be the final attempt to fix your marriage problems. The good news is that many marriages are turned around without couples seeing a marriage counselor. Don’t get me wrong and think that I’m against marriage counseling. What I’m against is couples using this as an excuse to do nothing to save their marriage. I don’t like to hear “Well, we couldn’t agree on marriage counseling so we decided to go our separate ways”.
The next thing I would suggest is that you and your spouse come to an agreement that you will try to work your marriage problems out between the two of you. No need to involve in-laws or best friends or co-workers etc. See if you can make an agreement to not moan or gripe to others about each other over the next month or two. No sarcastic remarks or backhanded insults about your spouse in front of others. The goal would be making sure that you treat each other respectfully over the next few months.
I know this is probably not the magical marriage help or alternative counseling solution that you are looking for. However, can I tell you that getting marriage help is more about creating the right atmosphere in your relationship to turn your marriage around.
The key to finding the best help in marriage that can work for your situation is getting to the point where your defenses are down and your hearts are open and receptive to advice. There are many things you can do to prepare for your marriage transformation to happen and so many steps you can take to guide you through the difficult periods of your marriage.
If marriage counseling isn’t right for you but you would be open to learning more about how you can get marriage help and guidance that has helped save thousands of other marriages, please take a moment and read more about the Save My Marriage Today program. It’s something that is very inexpensive, can be followed at your own pace in the privacy of your home and doesn’t require both of you to learn what to do. Just you alone can get your marriage turned around. However, in the end, a byproduct of you learning how to transform your marriage will be your soul-mate learning how to navigate through your marriage problems as well. You can read more about it here; Marriage Help Without Marriage Counseling – Save My Marriage Today