How does one go from madly in-love to barely hanging on or having one foot out the door? It’s very easy to fall in love and 6 months later wonder why did I get married?
What happens to late night unending conversations about nothing that makes you feel loved?
Would you like to know one of the most important words that cause marital bliss or marital hell? The word is “Expectations”.
Through my 33 years of marriage and research, I have found that expectation is the center of all joy and also all strive.
Have you ever been stressed out because your spouse has not met your expectations? Maybe once or twice for some!
You see, when you are dating, your expectations are very low so the relationship is loving and kind and sweet. It’s like when you get your first job you are just happy to be working and getting a check.
Well, after a few years of gaining knowledge and enhancing skills and expertise, you expect more from your bosses. You begin to expect more money as your experience and abilities increase.
The same thing happens in a relationship. As time passes, you expect different things from your spouse. When you don’t get what you expect, you become frustrated, disappointed and a challenging partner.
So should you change your expectations to help your marriage? That’s a debatable question.
Some marriage counselors will tell you to learn how to lower your expectations and that will lead to more happiness and peace in your relationship. Others will tell you that by lowering your expectations you are settling for mediocrity. This could lead to bitterness and resentment. I think you should adjust your expectations, only if you can live with doing so.
For example, if your spouse doesn’t splurge on nice Valentines Day gifts for you anymore, that’s one issue you should be able to lower your expectations on. Gifts are nice but not a necessity. It doesn’t mean that your spouse loves you less. There could be numerous reasons why. It could be that your spouse believes that love is expressed in a variety of ways, not just through gifts.
Marriage Help When You Are Ready To Give Up
Marriage help is easy to find but hard to follow. Everyone has a suggestion on how to improve your marriage. Some will say getting a divorce improves your marriage. Of course, that’s a joke. Or is it?
If you are ready to give up on your marriage I encourage you to put the brakes on throwing in the towel.
Today might be the start of a change in your marriage. I have a vision and in it I see you holding hands with your spouse and laughing as you walk.
Can’t you see what I see? I see you encouraging each other and putting the needs of each other ahead of your own.
I hear you talking about how much better your marriage has gotten and how you look forward to spending the rest of your lives together.
Why not begin to focus on restoring your marriage instead of giving up? Find a way to take some baby steps to improve your marriage. How about this week you;
- Hold hands
- Sit next to each other instead of across from other and hold hands
- Try an old fashion kiss – not the kind you get from your Grandmother
- Buy something inexpensive but from the heart for your spouse
I hope you get the point that instead of ending your marriage I recommend that you start taking action to fix it. You and your spouse are able to get past this down period in your marriage.
Dream as I do for your marriage to get better and better each and every day. Dreams do come true. You can do it!