There is no perfect marriage so please don’t feel like you are alone in your marital struggles. There are some couples who have no problem publicly displaying their differences. However you probably are like most spouses who tend to hide their marriage problems. No one wants to admit to having marriage problems. It’s embarrassing to many folks. It’s a shame we have to hide our problems and carry the heavy burden alone. The following story just might help you on your journey to restore your marriage. It was written by Mort Fertel who is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation. That’s why I have decided to include his perspective on the Help In Marriage site. I hope you find this helpful.
IS YOUR MARRIAGE CRUSHING YOU LIKE A GRAPE?
Have you ever been to a winery?
Hi. My name is Mort Fertel, author of Marriage Fitness.
Can you imagine what it would be like to be one of those grapes? Really…play along with me here for a moment.
Can you imagine what it would be like to be plucked, pushed, crushed, pressed, skinned, and fermented? OUCH! The pain! What’s the point of it all?
A lot of people feel that way about the pain they experience in their marriage. “Why am I doing this? Where is this relationship going?”
But just as a grape goes through a difficult process before it becomes a fine wine, sometimes our marriage has to go through a painful process before it matures.
The people who have the best marriages are NOT people who grew up well-adjusted, have healthy adult lives, and normal parents. People like that usually have OKAY marriages.
The BEST marriages are with couples who were crushed, who went through a painful process, and who built their relationship from the ruins of broken hearts.
There’s an ancient song by King David, “Those who sow in tears will reap harvest in glad song.”
And so it is that pain is often the preview to pleasure. Any woman who has experienced child birth can testify to this truth.
In my work doing marriage coaching, I have noticed that very often the turning point in a marriage is when a couple hits rock bottom. It’s not until they’ve been through the worst that things start to get better.
But the turnaround in a marriage is NOT automatic. Just because you hit bottom, does NOT mean you’ll bounce back. If you don’t make it happen, you’ll just crash. In order to turn your marriage around, you have to take RESPONSIBILITY.
What does it REALLY mean to be responsible? A person who is responsible has the ABILITY to RESPOND. In other words, if you take response-ability for your marriage, then your marriage is not determined solely by what happens; it’s also determined by how you RESPOND to what happens.
A responsible person is not a victim to their circumstances. They are the master of their fate. How you respond to your marital circumstances today WILL determine your marital circumstances tomorrow. YOUR actions create your marriage. You can turn sour grapes into a fine wine.
If you know how to do this, then do it now. If you need help, then USE ME. I can help you. Years ago my marriage was hours from “done.” I turned it around and I can show you how too. I’ve helped thousands of marriages. Have you seen the miracle stories on my web site?
Making a relationship work is not mystical. Love is NOT a mystery. You don’t have to be “lucky in love.” You can “make love.” You just have to know the recipe.
If you want to learn more about how I can help you, subscribe to my FREE report, “7 Secrets for a Stronger Marriage” and get my FREE marriage assessment. CLICK HERE to subscribe. It’s FREE.
Author of Marriage Fitness