Marriage was never intended to be lonely but the unfortunate reality is that a lot of couples are in lonely marriages. It’s not that they are separated and living together out of financial convenience. It’s not even just the couples who fight all the time and never have a kind word for each other. No, there are couples who on the outside appear to have it all together but on the inside live in a marriage filled with loneliness.
It doesn’t usually start out this way. In the beginning of the marriage the relationship is pretty normal. Conversation is meaningful and plentiful. There are a number of things the couple seems to have in common, so spending time together is not an issue. The couples sex life is pretty consistent and satisfying so there is no loneliness in the bedroom. But then somethings start to change.
The busyness of life starts to take over or in some cases is used as an excuse to not spend as much time together. For some couples, what used to be common interest become uncommon. The conversations that used to be hours dwindle down to a few minutes a day, and have very little meaning or value. One or both spouses’ start to feel lonely in the marriage. Is this your situation?
Do You feel lonely in your marriage?
Well, I can relate to your lonely feeling and I also know that it probably didn’t happen over night. I’m sure that you have struggled with feeling lonely for some time now. It can be difficult to work through these feelings because you have to fight the urges to throw in the towel and give up. No one likes to be lonely, especially if you are married. It kind of defeats the purpose of being married.
So how do you fix a lonely marriage?
- Tell your spouse how you feel. I know this can be a little intimidating but your spouse needs to understand how you feel. The key is to make it a conversation and not an argument, with you seeking help. It’s not a chance to point out all of your mate’s faults but rather focus on how you feel lonely and need help.
- Be pro-active in fixing your lonely marriage. You may feel as though you have tried everything but don’t quit seeking ways to improve your marriage. If you give up trying it might signal that you are losing hope. Resist the urge to surrender and take the steps to improve your lonely marriage, one day at a time.
- Work on improving yourself. One of the ways to get rid of the loneliness in your marriage is seeing how you can grow, change, mature during this process. Sometimes it seems like the solution to a lonely marriage is getting your spouse to change. The only problem is you can’t change your spouse. So instead, work on improving yourself.
Living in a lonely marriage is depressing to say the least. It hurts and it’s difficult to find out how to turn things around. I don’t know what other problems you are facing but please take a look at the resources below as I believe the lonely marriage help you have been searching for can be found here. Just click on one of the resources to see more information.