Infidelity can be a life changing event or a life saving event. Actually, on second thought it can be both life changing and life saving. I know that sounds crazy but it’s true. Infidelity changes your relationship forever. Your ability to trust and love again is altered. For some it’s a temporary change but for most it’s permanent. It doesn’t mean that you can’t love again or trust again. It will just be done through a different perspective.
The sad truth about infidelity is;
- It doesn’t have to end a marriage but very often it does
- There are ways to avoid cheating if you really want to
- The true reason cheating is done is often never really known
Infidelity is the cause of divorce in many marriages and relationships. There is so much pain and anger in the middle of the cheating that it results in an immediate separation and divorce. Very often there is no time allowed for reconciliation and healing. The bitterness and lack of trust leads to divorce. In some cases there is a desire to work things out but in reality the marriage ended once the cheating was discovered.
Cheating on your partner is a decision that can be avoided. It’s the result of bad choices that I guarantee you are known at the time. No one just stumbles into a one night stand or an ongoing affair. For example, a person who flirts with a co-worker understands what could happen as a result of the flirting. Only children under 10 are innocent when it comes to flirting. Once you are old enough to understand relationships, flirting is done with an end game in mind.
Any excuses such as it just happened or I don’t know how I fell for my cheating partner is a lie. I don’t care if there was alcohol involved or a vulnerable emotional event that occurred, it still took a decision to cheat, all-be-it a bad decision.
As I mentioned above there is so much anger and pain instilled as a result of cheating. That makes it very hard to get the true reason behind the cheating. The truth is covered up with multiple lies and unfortunately very often is the reason why the marriage ultimately ends in divorce. For many cheaters it’s all about reducing the confrontational discussions that need to be had to move the marriage forward. As a result, half truths are told and only the minimum amount of information is disclosed. If the offended spouse doesn’t feel like he or she is getting the truth, trust can never be restored. Without trust, the marriage cannot be healthy again.
The truth is that infidelity happens way more than it should and only happens as a result of decision the cheater makes. The decision that’s made is to put selfish desires ahead of their spouse and family. It just doesn’t need to happen and can always be avoided.