No one could have prepared you properly for the problems that most couples experience in their marriage. Yes, there are stories that you heard about concerning marriage problems but stories and reality are very much different. I bet you never expected to need help with marriage problems.
It hurts to be in a marriage where all of the fun days are in the past. You can easily lose hope and give up when there is more pain than pleasure in your marriage. I’m encouraged that you haven’t lost your desire to restore and rebuild your marriage. I’m glad that have continued to search for help with fixing your marriage problems.
So, the question of the day is, “what are you prepared to do in order to save your marriage”?
- Are you willing to take divorcing off the table?
- Can you agree on 3 marriage obstacles to work on together?
- Do you understand true forgiveness?
I’m sure that you are well aware that most marriage problems don’t work themselves out nor do they disappear. I say most because there is a small percent of folks who have marriage problems because of a temporary situation that adds stress to the marriage. For example, a situation when one spouse has to work a ridiculous amount of hours and is barely home. When the pressure at work is off, the relationship improves.
I know this might seem counter productive to what you have been doing but I recommend that you stop focusing on the negative. If you have been thinking about divorce or separation you are spending precious time and energy on the wrong solution to your marriage problems. To help with ending your anxiety and frustration and perhaps depression about your marriage, quit steering your marriage to the exact place you don’t want to go.
If you have ever driven a car I’m sure you will agree that very often if you take your eyes off the road and look away the car will start to drift to where you are looking. If you lose focus you can wreck your car and in this case, your marriage. Don’t be overwhelmed by thinking about “what if I can’t get help with my marriage problems”. Why not believe with me that the problems in your marriage can be overcome?
Another helpful step in dealing with your marriage problems is coming to grips with your spouse that you have marriage problems and working on resolving 2 or 3 of them. If you are like most married couples you probably feel as though you have a lot of problems in your marriage. Guess what! They can’t all be solved at once.
Very often, couples are overwhelmed and try to fix all of the marriage problems at once and fail. I can tell you that it is difficult to find the strength and conviction to save your marriage when you fail at changing it over and over again.
You should talk it over with your spouse and pick a couple of items you can both work on and get started making the changes to resolve the problems. Once you see that together you can overcome issues in your marriage you will be encouraged and strengthened to fix the other marital problems.
Finally, for any marriage to succeed there must be forgiveness. You have made some mistakes, I’m sure and so has your spouse. If you or your spouse is having trouble forgiving, you will have a hard time improving your marriage.
I hope this helps you with dealing with your marriage problems. I’ll be praying for you and looking forward to hearing from you about how yo were able to overcome your marriage problems.