It is frustrating being married to a selfish person when you have the heart of giving. The help in marriage that you need is a transformation of your spouses’ heart and mindset. The following information should help you with the dealing with selfishness in your marriage.
Dealing With Selfishness
Before you transform your selfish spouse you need to take a step back and examine the selfishness from different angles as noted below.
When did the selfishness start?
Sometimes in our relationships we find ourselves thinking that the person we love dear to our heart has changed. They are no longer the same person who was kind and considerate and unselfish. There are times when a person has changed but unfortunately sometimes it’s not the case.
In many relationships the selfish person hasn’t really changed but our expectations or tolerance level has changed.
It’s helpful in resolving selfishness in marriage if you can understand when either your spouse changed his or her ways or your expectations changed.
How have you been dealing with the selfishness?
If you want to fix the selfishness in your marriage that has been driving you crazy, it’s a good idea to think about what you have done so far to change your spouse’s behaviors.
- Accepted and enabled your spouse to be unselfish by not refusing to allow it?
- Let your frustrations cause you to shut down and distance yourself from your spouse thus allowing him or her to have their way over and over again?
- Perhaps you have attacked your spouse verbally with negative comments or sarcastic words or unhappy facial expressions in hopes of getting your spouse to stop being so selfish?
If you aren’t guilty of doing any of these think about what you have been doing to help in removing selfishness from your marriage. This will help you with learning what not to do moving forward because if you haven’t seen a change obviously you want to take a different approach.
Help In Marriage Dealing With Selfishness – Changing The Heart
It’s been said by many experts that you can’t change your spouse. I agree but there is no reason why you can’t help your spouse change. The way I would suggest doing so is going after the heart and here’s where I would start.
- Stop all destructive behaviors on your part. If you want your spouse to be more loving and considerate, you take the lead in doing so. No longer make sarcastic comments, negative statements and treat your spouse according to how he or she treats you. Don’t play any mind games or do spiteful things to get back at your spouse for being inconsiderate.
- Be direct with your selfish spouse. Don’t leave room for your selfish spouse to make assumptions about what you want or how you feel. If your spouse doesn’t ask you what you think or what you want, speak up. If you keep silent waiting for your spouse to finally connect with you and meet your needs you will be waiting for a long time.
- Shower your spouse with kindness and love. It’s helpful in marriage when dealing with selfishness to continue to show unconditional love.
Now, please note that if your selfish spouse is in anyway creating an unsafe or unhealthy living environment then that is unacceptable and I would encourage you to seek counsel from your local authorities.
Finding help in marriage dealing with selfishness is not always that easy because marriage relationships are so personal. I know it’s hard to work through may of the issues couples face day in and day out.
I do know that marriage is supposed to be and should be a joyous experience. No, I’m not saying 24 hours a day, 365 days a year you will be bubbling over with joy and peace from your spouse. However, marriage should not be frustrating, disappointing, boring and selfish.
If you would like some more advice on transforming your marriage into the one you have been desiring for a while, please click on the link below;