I imagine if you are looking for help in marriage to deal with low self esteem then you and or your spouse are probably going through a difficult time. Low self esteem can sometimes cause a distancing between spouses as they often times have different opinions regarding the state of the relationship.
Getting help in marriage in this area is important because a lot of times people with low self esteem try to conceal weaknesses, fears, feelings etc. In a marriage low self esteem can prevent a person from opening up and letting their spouse see the real person they married, for fear that they will be rejected. It’s safer to stay in a comfortable place and not risk rejection or hurt.
Unfortunately, low self esteem in marriage or for that matter in other relationships keeps us from allowing others to get close to us. The person with low self esteem generally wants to conceal the things they don’t like about themselves from others. They sometimes become distant or hard to get closer to. Seeking marriage help in this case can allow couples to overcome problems created as a result of low self esteem. It’s also helpful to improve self esteem to effectively deal with marriage problems.
Low self esteem in marriage can make communicating openly and honestly more challenging. It’s hard enough to receive feedback from our spouse but it’s even more difficult in situations where low self esteem is present. The person with low self esteem is probably there own toughest critic and may receive constructive feedback as confirmation of their imperfections. Instead of accepting feedback as something positive it’s perceived as negative and can result in damaging the relationship.
Here are some signs that you may be struggling with low self esteem in your marriage and might need help;
* When one person is consistently demoralized when constructive criticism is given or the person’s actions are corrected.
* When a person always apologizes or expresses how they never meet their own or spouses expectations.
* There is a need to prove one’s worthiness of being married and loved.
* There is a perception that everyone else is better or perhaps that your spouse deserves someone much better than you.
Low self esteem in marriage can cause the marriage to deteriorate if steps are not taken to correct it. The inability to openly communicate and accept the imperfections of oneself or others can make marriage very difficult. Marriage is the closest relationship people can have and allows couples to see the many flaws that are missed during the courtship period.
Tips to help improve low self esteem in marriage
1. Unconditional love – Spouses must know (and believe) that their spouse loves them unconditionally and how they look or feel about themselves has no effect on the love they have for one another. If this is not clear in a marital relationship it must be cleared up quickly. Let your spouse know this if you haven’t done so.
2. Look forward – Make sure you don’t dwell on past mistakes or misfortunes in your relationship or in particular about your spouse. Let your spouse know that together you are moving forward focus on the positives and for every constructive criticism you give your spouse have 3 or 4 positive things to provide feedback on.
3. Guard your tongue – Watch how and what you say to your spouse. Make sure you don’t say things that can tear them apart or knock them down. Your words have the power to either help build up your spouses self esteem or the power to destroy it and perhaps your marriage.
4. Support your spouse – Marriage is the blending of two into one. When a spouse is down his or her spouse should be there to help get them back up. Couple should support each other by valuing, respecting and building each other up. You should be your spouses’ best cheerleader. They should receive enough encouragement from you that builds up their self esteem.
It’s important to get help in marriage because low self esteem in marriage has the potential to ruin a marriage or at the very least make it unhappy and unhealthy. There is no reason why a married couple working together shouldn’t be able to solve the low self esteem in marriage issue and transform their marriage.
Marriage can be challenging but more so when dealing with low self esteem. The good news is that you can get the help in marriage you need to improve your marriage.
I don’t know what problems you are facing but please take a look at the resources below as I believe the help in marriage you have been searching for can be found here. Just click on one of the resources to see more information.