Dealing with a cheating spouse is tough on both Christian and non Christian couples. However, there is an extra dose of pain, confusion and despair when a Christian spouse cheats. The reason why it hurts just a little more is because there is an expectation that if a person has a relationship with Christ, he or she will have will fear God enough to resist the temptation.
So, if you are trying to recover from a cheating Christian spouse, I know you are confused as to why and how could this happen.
Well, I’m sure that you know all men and women were born with a sinful nature. Unfortunately, even after one commits their life to Christ, sin is still a battle. Of course, as individuals grow and increase their knowledge and faith, you expect to see the fruits of their labor; which means they shouldn’t keeping making the same sinful choices and mistakes over and over again.
One of the things I learned many years ago was that we are all capable of sinning. I will admit that at one point in my life I was under the impression that I was incapable of committing certain sins. One day I was reminded by a very wise woman that some of the strongest and seasoned Christians have fallen into sin, after being married for many years.
I was also, reminded by scripture that “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”. Pride has taken many a Christian off their pedestal.
The question at hand is, “will you forgive your spouse after the affair has been uncovered”?
I hope the answer in your head is “Yes”.
I know that your heart doesn’t feel like forgiving at this time. Don’t worry, it will take time for your heart to be healed and until you go through a number of steps, you won’t be ready to trust and love again.
What does the Bile say about forgiving?
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
There are so many passages in the Bible that illustrate the importance of forgiveness.
I think it’s clear that you need to forgive your cheating christian spouse for two reasons.
First because it’s what we have been commanded to do. Second, because it is necessary to bring healing to your marriage and life.
Now, it’s vitally important to separate forgiving and condoning. Your willingness to forgive has nothing to do with saying you understand or are ok with what has happened.
When you get to the point where you can forgive, you will be releasing the pain, guilt, shame, and confusion and replacing those negatives with peace of mind.
What I have found is that you will need to walk through the steps of understanding and acceptance and grief and then you will probably be ready to forgive and move forward.
What I know for sure is that it’s a difficult road ahead but according to my Bible, it says “
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28 – 30
With God’s help you can be healed and delivered from this awful and painful indiscretion.
I’ll be praying for you and your marriage.