Marriage is designed to bring two individuals with similar likes and goals and visions together to form a bond and partnership that is unmatched by any other kind of relationship. Unfortunately, because there are no perfect people in this world there are no perfect marriages. Every marriage needs help at some point in time. There are some couples who see the need for marriage help and get it. Other couples think things will work out and find themselves separated or divorced.
Since every marriage is unique, it is difficult at times to guage how stressing the marriage problems couples are dealing with are. There are some couples who need help in their marriage learning how to be married. Did you receive and training before you were married? I’m not talking about 3 counseling sessions where you were barely listening or advice from your parents. For most couples they became attracted to each other, fell in love and decided to tie the knot with the understanding that love will carry their marriage until the end of time. Then reality sits in and they scream “help, somebody help our marriage, please”.
If you are considering getting married now is the time to understand what marriage is all about and more importantly get to know the person you are thinking about marrying. To many couples fail to really get to know the knitty gritty about the love of their life. When the honeymoon period is over and the little differences start to show up problems begin to grow and before you know it marriage problems overwhelm the couple and they need marriage help.
Now, on the other hand if you have been married for a while now you might be feeling stressed and worried if your marriage can last. The first thing you need to do to help your marriage situation get better is stop feeding the negative thoughts. Don’t think will your marriage survive or can you be happily married. Turn those thoughts around and channel that energy to make sure that you are more focused ondoing things to help your marriage. If you keep your mind focused on your marriage coming unravelled it will be a self fulfilling prophesy.
The good news is that it doesn’t take a great deal of effort to find good marriage help. The first step that will help you and your spouse build a better marriage has already been partially taken, and that step is admitting that you need marriage help. You would be surprised how many couples refuse to admit this because of pride and shame. Some view marriage help as an admission of failure and that is so far from the truth it’s a shame. If you haven’t talked to your spouse about the need for some help in your marriage, I recommend that you do so. Your spouse needs to understand your concerns. Make sure you communicate what is on your heart and mind, in a non-confrontational manner. You don’t want to come across as complaining or pointing a finger at your spouse. Upon completion of your conversation, your spouse should feel as though you aren’t whining but striving for a better relationship.
Marriage Help Tips
1. Ask for specific things. Please take the time to think through what it is that needs to be different to assist your marriage. Don’t deal in the abstract but be specific. It is not helpful to just say “our marriage needs help”. Perhaps your spouse will better understand if the request was “I think we should spend at least one night a week with a couple of hours of quality time together”.
2. Set realistic expectations – Don’t expect old habits to be broken over night. Understand that change sometimes takes time, so be patient. However, do put some specifics behind when and how things should change. Otherwise, your marriage will drift.
3. Continue to seek help. As mentioned above, every marriage is unique and no marriage is perfect. Make sure you seek out the right help for your marriage obstacles. I have known some folks who were counseled to go ahead and get a divorce when in fact their marriage problems most likely could have been resolved. Please be careful and don’t follow the advice of others blindly. Use your common sense as well.
Marriage Help Final Advice
Don’t let your marriage differences grow to the point where you lose hope. Hope is what keeps marriages alive and together for ever. If you have lost some of your hope, you can get it back. Just spend a little time, focusing on the right things in your marriage and you will be helping others with their marriage challenges. You can have the kind of marriage where others come to you for sound advice and guidance. How wonderful will that be when you are helping other couples stay together? If you feel like you can use some more guidance and perspectives to help your marriage improve, please read more here about saving your marriage.