There are many struggles couples go through during their marriage years but not many of them create the pain that a cheating spouse does. If you are dealing with infidelity in your marriage then I’m sure you are having a difficult time just getting to the point where you can even start working on repairing your relationship. If you need some marriage help for you or your spouse after cheating has occurred, please read on.
Signs Your Spouse Is Having An Affair
There are many spouses who leave so many clues when it comes to cheating that the only way you can miss them is if you are in denial. Then there are those very crafty spouses who are very loyal on the surface and don’t show any changes in behavior. Those spouses having an affair are not that easy to catch cheating.
However, either way it is very difficult to be deceptive for a very long time. At some point a lie or mistake will be made that opens the door for uncovering the truth.
One of the things you need to pay close attention to find out if your spouse is cheating is his or hers response when they get around you. What you are looking for is a sharp change in behavior. For example;
If your spouse has rarely been affectionate over the last few months or years and all of a sudden is over dosing you with hugs, kisses and intimacy then he or she could be trying to cover up something. Yes, it could be related to some type of hormonal change or perhaps an awakening of some emotional needs but it is something to keep an eye on.
On the opposite end if your spouse has become very distant and cold all of a sudden then this could be a sign that guilt of cheating is pushing him or her away. I would say that most spouses struggle with knowing that their cheating has the potential to break up their marriage and hurt the very folks they love. If there is any attachment left by the cheating spouse, having an affair is not an easy thing to do.
Mistakes To Avoid When Trying To Confirm Cheating
If your spouse is cheating you don’t want to give them a chance to fix the mistakes they are making before you can prove it. I realize that not knowing for sure is probably killing you inside but don’t make it easy for your spouse to cheat and cover it up.
I’m sure that you are probably checking your spouse’s phone, wallet and email accounts and trying to monitor his or her internet searches and activity. That’s a good place to start. However, don’t get caught doing so and thus give your cheating spouse and opportunity to destroy any evidence of having an affair. Only take a look into your spouses activities when you are sure you won’t get busted doing so.
Saving Your Marriage After Cheating
Once you confirm that your spouse is having an affair it will be the start of some very difficult days and months ahead. I don’t mean to try to paint a dark picture but I want to be honest. It is hard being betrayed by the very person who promised to love you until death do you part.
However, please know that despite how you feel right now about cheating by your spouse, it doesn’t mean that your marriage is over. That’s right, I don’t think that cheating has to result in a divorce.
Would I or anyone blame you for ending your marriage after cheating? Absolutely not! However, I hope that you take the time to try and work things out and don’t give up on your marriage because of how you feel or because you are worried how other folks will perceive you.
Saving your marriage after cheating is between you, your cheating spouse and perhaps your children if you have any. If you have any friends or relatives urging you to leave before you have had the time to work on repairing your marriage, put a little distance between you and them for a little while.
I think it will help in marriage restoration and healing if you take a little time and think about what it would take to heal your marriage after your spouse has cheated. Obviously there are some things that need to happen right away like your spouse ending the affair. However, it is important to know what else you need to happen if your marriage is to be reconciled.
The keys to saving your marriage after your spouse has cheated is knowing what you want to happen, putting together a plan to get you focused and prepared for the difficult days ahead and finding the right advice for your particular situation.
The good news is that many folks have been in your situation and many have made it through and learned how to rebuild their marriage and life after their spouse was caught cheating. Unfortunately, there are also many marriages that just can’t get over the hump and end in divorce. I would guess that many of the marriages that end after cheating do so because either cheating was just one of the problems amongst a list of serious unresolved problems or the couple just didn’t find the right marriage help.
Listen, no one can predict how your situation will turn out. I do hope that you and your cheating spouse are able to restore and renew your marriage. At the very least, you should be able to work though the infidelity to the point where you have an understanding of what happened and why it happened. You should also be able to forgive your spouse for cheating which will help you and your spouse move forward, regardless of whether you stay together or not.
I hope this helps you in dealing with a cheating spouse and provides some marriage help. You can find more helpful information on the Help In Marriage site about restoring your marriage. If you need some additional information on recovering from infidelity, please take a moment and learn how it is possible to love and trust again, even after it has been lost because of an affair. See below for more information. I will be praying for your healing and marriage restoration.