Is it possible to save a dead marriage when all love is lost and the only feelings remaining are anger, resentment and bitterness? Before you answer the question, please read through this and then see if you feel the same way.
Do you believe that a marriage can survive public humiliation, infidelity, dishonest and downright disgusting inappropriate behavior? Well, if you don’t think that it is possible might I remind you of a pretty well known couple who had their marriage ripe with infidelity and mistruths on public display for probably a year or more. I mean, he just happened to be the President of The United States Of America and she was The First Lady. If my memory serves me correctly, they are still married today.
Might I share another true story with you about a couple who fell out of love, went through the bitter divorce thing and tried to destroy each other’s reputation? This couple went as far as getting divorced and the wife actually married someone else. Their marriage was as dead as a marriage could be. Believe it or not, they ended up reconciling their differences some 10 years later and now they are happily married.
I realize these are extreme cases of the need to save a dead marriage but your marriage doesn’t have to go through such turbulent times to feel dead. Unfortunately, many couples are living together but for all practical purposes, are separated.
It doesn’t happen overnight but have you noticed that you don’t spend enough time together to even know if you still love each other? It’s hard to be best friends or support each other when you rarely talk.
The good news is that you don’t have to let your marriage drift until it officially ends when the divorced papers are signed. Today could be the start of reviving your so called dead marriage. Can you think of a better time to begin saving your marriage than today?
Can I tell you what I would do if I were you? I would take an hour or two before I went to sleep tonight and think about all of the areas in my marriage that I need to improve in. I would only focus on my shortcomings and not my spouses. Next I would jot down the top 5 to 10 things and rank them from 1 to 5 or 10 with 1 being the highest priority and 5 or 10 being the lowest priority.
The next thing that I would suggest that you do is ask your spouse for a few minutes of his or her time. I would then issue a sincere apology to my spouse for not living up to my marriage vows and meeting my spouse’s needs.
Then I would ask for a hug and a good night kiss and leave it at that for today. Hold onto the list because it contains the keys to saving your marriage.
What a dead marriage needs in my humble opinion is a spark. Spouses need to have a sense that something good can come of what has been bad for so long. If you and your spouse wanted to end the marriage, it would have happened already. The fact that you are still together tells me that there is still hope.
I think that I have also illustrated above that even a marriage that has ended in divorce can be reconciled. At the heart of it all is hope and forgiveness.
Can you save a dead marriage? Absolutely! Why not start today turning your marriage around?