Is your marriage destined for divorce after the affair is uncovered? Well, you obviously have a big role in saving your marriage and forgiving infidelity is one of the keys to making it happen.
No one can assure you that your marriage will be restored after the cheating is discovered. However, I can tell you that your marriage can be saved. I understand the anger, pain, resentment and disgust you have against your cheating partner at this time. Don’t let those feelings keep you from doing what you need to do to fix your relationship.
There are some things that should take place if you are going to restore your relationship. I like to refer to them as “must happen things”, “should happen things” and “would be nice things”.
After The Affair Must Happen Things – There is one thing that definitely must happen after an affair is uncovered and that is the affair must stop. I know this is obvious but it isn’t always that easy. Very often a cheating partner has developed affections for the person he or she is cheating with. In many cases, the cheater struggles emotionally because he or she may be on the fence about who they want to be with.
Regardless of any emotional attachments or dependency that exists, the affair must be ended immediately. Breaking off an affair can be stressful, especially if the lover has fallen for your cheating partner and expected the relationship to continue. Those feelings and thoughts about the secret lover will start to fade as time goes by. So it’s a good idea for your partner to avoid direct contact with this individual. As those feelings begin to fade your relationship will become closer to being repaired.
You and your cheating partner must set some ground rules to ensure that his or her behavior doesn’t cause undue stress on you and your relationship.
After The Affair Should Happen Things – If your partner wants to be redeemed after the affair is uncovered, he or she should be willing do what it takes to regain your respect, trust and love. If you need to know all of the intimate details about the infidelity, your partner should be open and honestly provide you with the information that you need. If you need your spouse to be accountable for his or her whereabouts, make this a part of your recovery-healing process.
What should also be happening is that your spouse should feel comfortable that you are looking for restoration and not revenge. Don’t use this opportunity to punish your partner on a daily basis for cheating.
You and your partner must be working together to restore your relationship. If only one of you is working toward this goal, it will be difficult for your relationship to survive infidelity.
After The Affair Would Be Nice Things
There are two things that would be nice after the infidelity is uncovered. One is that you are able to forgive your partner for cheating. The second thing is restoring your relationship. Forgiving your cheating partner is just as important for you as it is for him or her. You need to learn how to forgive and move forward with your life. You will find emotional as well as psychological freedom once you truly forgive.
It would be nice if you can stay in your relationship and rebuild your trust and love. Unfortunately millions of individuals have had to go through what you are experiencing. The good news is, if you can accept this as good, that many couples have gone on to have great relationships, after cheating.
Please be encouraged that you can walk through this dark and difficult period in your relationship. Life after the affair can be great and forgiving infidelity is something that you can do.