Fairytale marriages exist only in movies and in the heads of those waiting to get married. If you are married, you know that no marriage is perfect. If you are engaged and waiting with bated breath to say “I do” or “I will” until death do you part, you will find out this truth.
As I mentioned above, no marriage is perfect. However, if marriage is rated on a scale of 1 to 10, you don’t have to accept having a marriage rated near the bottom. If you aren’t enjoying being married then it’s time to fix your marriage and get some joy back.
We live in a fickle society and a selfish world. Unfortunately some of these traits also exist in many marriages today.
So what is fickle anyway? Here is the dictionary definition;
1. likely to change, especially due to caprice, irresolution, or instability; casually changeable: fickle weather.
2. not constant or loyal in affections: a fickle lover.
So what is the definition of selfish?
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.
So what do you think happens when you have one or both spouses who posses these characteristics? I have found that you have a recipe for continual marital strife and unfortunately a path to divorce.
I believe that being selfish and being fickle are major contributors to why marriages are failing today.
What does a selfish spouse look like? Well, some have described him or her as the one who insist on getting their way in the marriage. They are satisfied and happy as long as they can do what they want, when they want and how they want. However, they have a tendency to cause pain and frustration when they have to give a little and do things for the better good of their spouse or family.
The fickle person is often times very inconsistent in actions and deeds as well as affections. This may not sound too bad but it can be irritating and cripple a marriage. It leads to misunderstandings and mistrust.
So two of the three reasons why I believe marriages are failing today is because we have a lot of fickle and selfish individuals.
Another reason is lack of commitment. Very often you have part-time spouses and not fully engaged spouses. What happens is that one or both spouses give less than 100 percent to the marriage and each other.
It’s a simple but true concept that has tendency to slowly but surely derail the marriage. If only one spouse is committed you end up with a burned out, broken and frustrated spouse. If neither spouse is committed then the marriage will probably be over pretty quickly.
So how do you make sure that your marriage doesn’t fail? You figure out where your weaknesses are and strengthen them and begin plugging the holes.
If you are not getting what you need from your marriage or spouse, please change things before it’s too late.
I hope you read through some of the other articles here at Help In Marriage and take advantage of some of the relationship aides made available to help you fix your broken marriage.