3 Reasons Why Your Husband Is Avoiding You

I know it’s driving you crazy that you can’t figure out why your husband is avoiding you. Doesn’t it feel like you have some kind of contagious disease? He delays responding to text messages or doesn’t pick up your calls. He conveniently has to work and spends more time out of the house than he does in it. When he is home he really is only there physically and not emotionally. It’s eating at you I bet. What is he up to?

Here are a few reasons your husband might be avoiding you;

Your Husband Is Being Unfaithful

I understand this is no great revelation to you because it’s most likely what you suspect is going on. Maybe he is or maybe he isn’t cheating. If he is you need to find out for sure. If your husband isn’t cheating you need to get to the point where you are convinced that he isn’t. You will not have the best relationship possible if you don’t trust your husband.

If your husband is cheating, there is no reason why you should be able to catch him. It’s very difficult to cheat and get away with it if it’s more than a one night stand. Now of course you can ignore the signs but then you will always be wondering and never be trusting.

Tips to catch a cheat;

  • Check his phone log
  • Review his credit card and checking account for unusual charges, especially right after Valentines Day and Christmas
  • Look in his car (especially the glove department and the trunk). These are good places to toss receipts
  • Show up at his job for a surprise lunch date
  • If he often has to make runs to store and it takes longer than you think it should, offer to go with him. If he changes his mind about going, look out.

If you do a thorough investigation and you don’t turn up anything, perhaps your husband isn’t being unfaithful.

You Husband Is Avoiding Confrontations With You

Could it be that very often when the two of you get together you have conflict? Fighting with your spouse can be very tiring and draining. One way to avoid the conflict is to avoid the person.

You might not even realize that you and your husband are having conflicts. It doesn’t have to be a knock down, drag out fight to be a conflict. Conflict can be just taking the opposite side of every issue. If you, your husband or both of you have to always be right and always have the last word, it’s conflict.

Try to be mindful of your interactions with your husband and see if you are at peace or at odds around each other.

Your Husband Might Be Hiding Something

Sometimes husbands are guilty of doing something that goes against their spouses wishes and guilt has them walking on eggshells. It could be knowledge that they have that they don’t want to share. It could be related to health, finances or family. For whatever reason your husband might think that avoiding you will limit the likelihood of having to reveal or discuss the issue with you. In his mind, he might believe that he is protecting you by keeping you out of the loop.

I have spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out why very happy and thriving marriages fall apart so easily. I’m convinced that for the most part all of us want what we want and if we don’t get it we can be difficult to deal with, let alone live with. Although we become adults, we still act like little children at times.

Do you or your husband ever pout, shout or ignore the other person when things don’t go your way? Be honest now. You have on occasion, right?

Well, if you and your husband aren’t growing closer together as time passes by then you are growing apart. You need to fix this now and get your husband to stop avoiding you. If he is cheating, find out and work things out. If you have too much conflict, stop sweating the small stuff and love more than you fight. If your husband is hiding something, show him how much you love him and get him to trust you enough to share with you.

Get your husband to stop avoiding you by getting him to fall madly in-love with you again. You did it before and you can do it again.

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Marriage Hope For Those Who Feel Helpless

Feeling trapped in a frustrated and hopeless marriage is painful. Unfortunately, dealing with marriage problems can lead to problems in all aspects of one’s life. It can not only ruin your marriage but seriously impact your health, relationships and career. Is there hope for your marriage?

Do you find it hard to believe that your marriage will get better when dealing with marital issues? Isn’t it strange that before you got married you believed that nothing could keep you apart? Now after a few years of marriage, it’s hard to imagine staying together. What happened?

I would guess that you, your spouse or the both of you have changed and your relationship has gotten out of sync. You now need to figure out how to realign your relationship. You need to reestablish your relationship and get it going down the right path again.

The good news is that you know exactly what to do. You were one of the key players in making your relationship work before. Who knows better than anyone else what makes you happy but what also makes your spouse happy?

So what’s the problem and why is your marriage still broken? Here are two possible reasons;

One reason your marriage is still broken is that you are so overwhelmed with the problems you can’t see the solutions. It’s sort of like your 15 year old car that breaks down on the highway. You see smoke pouring out of the engine and you assume it’s overheating. You pop the hood open and initially all you see is a cloud of smoke. You wonder is it the oil, water, radiator or engine. The car is 15 years old and has had so many problems you can’t figure out where to start looking.

Unfortunately that’s the problem some couples have with fixing their marriage. They don’t know where to start. As a result, they feel trapped and hopeless.

Another reason why your marriage might still be broken is you have given up trying to fix it. It’s very possible that your words and actions aren’t in sync. Very often spouses say that they want to rebuild their marriage but they continue to tear it down with their actions and deeds. You can say on the one hand that you still love your spouse but withhold expressing your love because you are angry and bitter. It’s hard for love to shine through when your heart is bitter. You know you are not trying your best when you are odds with your spouse all the time.

I know in your heart you are willing to fix your marriage. I commend you for that. Now it’s time to get your actions and your heart on the same page.

There is still hope for your marriage. I need you to believe that there is hope. If you don’t believe me let me share with you one example. I know a couple who experienced a horrible marriage. The husband cheated and the family fell on hard times due to his gambling and a drug habit. He would go missing for days and his wife and kids were left alone wondering if he would ever return alive. Needless to say their marriage was hanging on by a thin string. Well, the good news is that they made it through the difficult and dark period in their marriage. They have a strong healthy marriage today.

The couple endured quite a bit and it wasn’t easy but with forgiveness and rebuilding of trust and relationship their marriage turned around. They didn’t give up. They persevered.

If you don’t give up and you begin to step in the right direction, your marriage can be restored. Will it be easy? I doubt it. However, if you start to do the little things to make your marriage better, you have no idea how things will turn out.

I would suggest that you don’t wait for your spouse to change before you start saving your marriage. Even if your spouse believes that your marriage situation is hopeless, don’t settle for that. You do the right things and when it’s all said and done, your spouse might just be following you down the path of fixing your marriage.

Please continue to fight for your marriage. You are a winner and you can be victorious.

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Signs Your Husband Is Cheating On You

There are obvious signs your husband is cheating on you and not so obvious ones that you have to be looking for if you want to catch him. Notice the words “if you want to catch him”. Sometimes women don’t really want to catch their cheating husbands. They would prefer that the cheating stop and life gets back to normal. Unfortunately wishing or hoping that your spouse isn’t cheating is not a prudent way to protect your marriage.

5 Signs Your Husband might be committing adultery;

1. He isn’t home when he should be and when he’s out he is unreachable.
2. Your husband becomes very reluctant to let you see his phone or pick up his phone calls.
3. He doesn’t return your phone calls but takes calls from others.
4. Your love life is no life at all and you wonder why he isn’t intimate anymore.
5. Your husband starts to dress-up and wear cologne.

Looking for signs that your husband might be cheating is extremely difficult. One reason for this is a fear of finding out the truth. Women know that if their findings are true, a lot of pain awaits. Is it better to know that your husband is cheating?

Let’s suppose that you do find out that your husband is a cheat. Will you leave him or give him a chance to redeem himself? Will you ask him to move out or will you?

As you can see there are many decisions that have to be made. You will need strength and patience while you investigate your husband’s cheating.

Do you need help sorting out your husband’s infidelity? There are many things you can do to keep your sanity and marriage in check. For more info on “Signs your husband is cheating on you”, see here Infidelity Help

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Marriage Problems – Closing Your Eyes Won’t Solve The Issues

It’s perfectly normal to think if you ignore your marriage problems things will work themselves out. Unfortunately you and I know that problems rarely get fixed by themselves. Sure you can experience some short term relief from your marriage problems but most likely unresolved issues will continue to hurt you and your marriage.

Most people don’t like pain or shall I say that normal people don’t like pain. I can tell you I go out of my way to avoid pain. With marriage relationships it can be years of pain, frustration, bitterness and resentment that’s built up over the years. You just can’t pretend those painful years didn’t exist. If you are dealing with marriage problems keep your eyes wide open and deal with the issues one at a time.

Have you been able to talk with your spouse recently about your marriage obstacles? I hope that you still have some civility in your relationship so you can try to work things out. I realize that it’s painful but consider this;

If you do nothing about your marriage problems then you will most likely continue to be stressed out. I guarantee that once your marriage issues start to consume you, you will want to relieve the stress. I have been in your shoes and I know how it feels. On the one hand you know there are issues in your marriage. However, it’s a daunting task taking them on without feeling overwhelmed.

If you are at the breaking point in your marriage, hang on and never let go. There are solutions to your marital problems.

  • Do your best to be your best
  • Keep your spouse informed about your concerns
  • Discuss the details of the problems you have been experiencing
  • Remove highly destructive things from your marriage.

The sooner you deal with your marital problems the more balanced your life will be. If you need some help finding different things to try in-order to fix your marriage problems, please read on here…….Help In Marriage

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Marriage Issues – Tips For A More Blissful Marriage

Marriage issues are unavoidable. However, you have options and choices regarding how you handle your marital issues. Life is all about choices from the infancy stage to the grave. Some choices we make help us on with our journey and others hurt us. Many of the choices we make are wise and others are downright borderline stupidity. I’m sure you can agree with me that marriage also is about choices. How we choose to deal with our marriage problems either gets us closer to a blissful marriage or pushes us closer to divorce.

One of the tips to help with marriage issues is for you to be patient and pleasant. It’s important that you don’t let your frustration turn you into a crabby impatient nitpicking spouse. I know it’s difficult when your marriage is struggling. However, the more unapproachable you are the less likely your spouse will seek to reconcile with you.

You don’t want your spouse to have to walk on egg shells and pretend as though you are non-existent. I’m not suggesting that you pretend to be happy and delighted with your marital issues. However, if your spouse dreads any conversations about your marriage because you get nasty and come across as bitter, your marriage struggles will continue to grow.

Try being a little more pleasant to be around and watch as your spouse slowly begin to draw closer to you.

Another thing you should consider is respecting your spouse, if you haven’t done so up to now. It’s so easy to lose respect for your spouse when your heart is turning cold towards that person. I know when you are angry it’s natural to say things that you wish you had never said. You might even dismiss your spouse’s thoughts or feelings.

Please keep in-mind that we all have a bit of pride and being disrespected in some cases forces even greater distance between couples. In many instances one thing leads to another and before you know it you are destroying each others lives.

Marriage issues are unfortunately common these days and cannot be avoided. However, marital problems should not control your joy, peace and happiness. Make your home peaceful and respectful and your marriage should reflect that as well.

Make sure you treat your spouse like you want to be treated. You can overcome your marriage issues with the spouse’s help. I’m hoping and praying that you and your spouse work through your marriage issues.

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Can Ignoring Your Marriage Problems Save Your Marriage?

If your marriage is at the crisis stage you most likely are running out of ideas and patience to save your marriage. I know how you feel and I wish there was an easy solution to fix your marriage. Well, I must say that I believe we all know what it takes to fix a broken marriage. Most of the solutions are common sense. However, ignoring your problems is not a traditional way to fix your marriage but it just might be what you need to do. Let me explain.

Have you ever said to yourself, “If I could only start over things would be different”. The question I have for you is “What’s stopping you from starting over”. In fact, what is stopping you and your spouse from putting the past behind you and moving forward together?

I know it’s easier said than done. If you have been misunderstood, ignored or simply not treated like a spouse, it’s hard to forget and move forward. The only way to move forward is to forgive and then move forward. You can’t hold anger, bitterness and resentment towards your spouse and expect to be able to ignore or set aside your marital problems.

Please be aware that I’m not asking you to accept unhealthy marital practices. However, I’m suggesting that you find it in your heart to table your marriage issues and agree together to try to move forward. Make an agreement with your spouse to not bring up the past while you are trying to fix your relationship.

The key is that you both must agree to leave the heavy baggage behind and move forward while getting to know and appreciate each other again. So often, because the past issues are always standing in the way of future marital bliss, marriages come to an unhappy ending.

A good place to start is to sit down with your spouse and have a quiet, non-confrontational conversation about where your marriage is going. You know that if things remain the same your marriage will most likely not survive. Have a heart to heart talk, not argument, about a change of some sort being necessary. Here are a few suggestions to get your marriage headed in the right direction.

  • Agree in writing on some of the destructive things you will stop doing to each other to give your marriage a chance to get back on track.
  • Agree to not bring up things that have been hurting your marriage. Don’t keep picking at a wound. Give it time to heal.
  • Create new bonds, memories and joyful experiences.
  • Make a decision to love each other again. Remember, love is an action not just a word.

Ignoring your marital problems will not automatically fix your marriage. However, if you haven’t given this a try yet, why not? If you want to save your marriage you need to give this a try. It can’t hurt your marriage,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your spouse. I know that your marriage can be turned around. You can save your marriage. Please don’t give up.

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Difficult Marriage – Getting Past The Anger

Working through a difficult marriage is trying at times. You very often have thoughts of ending it or at the very least separating. Your spouse can drive you crazy sometimes and since you are a spouse you probably get on your spouse’s last nerve at times. Although marriage can be difficult at times I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who has a lot of patience and willingness to compromise.

Yes, dealing with a difficult marriage does bring about anger at times. It is ok sometimes to be angry. Sometimes this is a great way to move past certain problems and issues that you may have. Anger is completely normal and you will want to make sure that you are dealing with it as best as you can. You will want to be careful so that you are not setting yourself up for more problems when you are angry because of marriage difficulties.

Marriage problems can be a hard time in anyone’s life. It is something that you will have to deal with one day at a time. It is not always easy for both parties especially if you are not the person struggling for peace and happiness in your life. If you are the person that is trying to fix your marriage, you may feel angry and hurt at the other person. These feelings are completely relevant and you will have more emotions come up in the future as well.

When you are having issues with anger because of failing marriage, you will want to make sure that you are using your best judgment in the matter. You do not want to do anything to harsh because you may later regret it. Remember that once you do something or say something, it is impossible for you to take it back. You must remain calm in this situation so that you are not coming off looking irrational or childish.

There are ways that you can deal with the anger during the rough periods. You will want to sit down and calmly think about the issues first. You do want to make sure that you have clear communication as to why you are feeling frustrated and angry. Sometimes because of a lack of communication wrong assumptions are made and this can result in anger and bitterness. Getting clarity on things said or not said can go a long way in resolving your marriage difficulties. Talking things out can sometimes make a person feel much better.

In order for you to feel better and get through the marriage difficulties, you will need to move past the angry part. You have to find a way to move on and get through this difficult time. There is no real answers to how you do this, you just have to figure out the best way that you know how so that you are taking care of you first. The most important thing that you can do when you are in the midst of a difficult marriage is to take care of yourself. You need to make sure that you are staying healthy and happy because your emotions and ability to respond is directly impacted by your health.

Angry is a very passionate emotion. It can take you up or down. It will depend on the way that you are able to handle the emotion and what you intend to do with it. You do not want to let the anger that you have inside you got too far advanced. You want to make sure that you can contain it and keep it under control for your sake and the sake of others. There is no reason to fly off the handle and cause a big scene even though it may seem like it is a good idea at the time.

You can seek treatment for any anger issues that you may be dealing with. When you think that you are not able to control your anger, you can go and find help for these problems. You can get counseling and find out what is making you so angry and different steps to make it better and improve as time rolls on.

One of the best remedies for resolving your anger is to fix your marriage. Marriage is not meant to be frustrating and difficult. That’s not what you signed up for so don’t settle for a bad marriage. Your future does not include a difficult marriage. Declare this starting today and take the necessary steps to ensure that this declaration becomes your reality.

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Cheating Spouse – How To deal With It

Learning how to cope when your spouse has been unfaithful is extremely difficult. You definitely need some help understanding the pain, anger and frustration you are feeling at this time. You have many decisions that will need to be made in the upcoming days, weeks or months. Perhaps the following information will help you begin the healing process with your cheating spouse.

The first step in the healing and marriage restoration process is your spouse ending the affair. If this happens, you will no doubt have taken a big first step. It doesn’t make living in the same household any easier but it gives you a place to start rebuilding your marriage. However, ending the affair is more complicated than you might think for two reasons;

  1. It is hard to end an affair if it was both an emotional and physical affair. If there was any emotional connection it’s not that easy to end the affair. It will take total separation from the other person to allow the emotional bond to be broken.
  2. Regardless of what the cheating spouse says, you will not believe or trust that the affair has ended. This is normal and you I believe shouldn’t trust right away. Your cheating spouse must earn back your trust and respect.

The second step in the healing process is finding someone to support you. You need a person in your life that you can discuss the issue with and feel assured that your confidentiality will be maintained. Dealing with an affair can be an emotional roller coaster and you need a way to release some of the pressure that’s built up inside. Choose the right person and it will help you get through this difficult period.

It is very important to understand what’s normal under the circumstances. Don’t compare how others have dealt with infidelity to your situation. Some couples separate immediately and end their marriage. You might see others stay together but divorce a few years later. Unless you know the intimate details of those relationships, you can’t compare the fate of their marriage to yours.

You have a say so on how your situation will turn out. It’s ok to listen to the advice that you get from family and friends but at the end of the day you need to make the right decision for you and your family.

Now is not the time to make quick, emotional decisions. Let the dust settle and do what is necessary to keep your sanity but also give yourself time to do what’s right.

It’s important that you be honest with your spouse. Your spouse made a terrible mistake and one that he or she may regret for the rest of his or her life. Don’t compound the mistake by making saying what your spouse wants to hear. Tell your spouse exactly haw you feel and don’t sugar coat your intentions. Keep in mind that if you decide not to separate or divorce right away, there is nothing that can stop you from doing so down the road.

Learning how to deal with a cheating spouse is not easy or something that anyone should have to endure. Unfortunately because we are imperfect beings, it happens way too often.
I pray that your marriage can survive this infidelity. Don’t give up without a fight.

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Setting Healthy Boundaries In Marriage

Every marriage is a series of give and take – sometimes you give more, sometimes you take more. A healthy marriage moves back and forth between the two areas, with ease and understanding.

When a marriage is in its beginning stages, it is important to set healthy boundaries to ensure the success of the relationship. If boundaries are not set, either one or the other of the members of the relationship may begin to feel imposed upon, and will be unhappy in the relationship. This leads to breakup and discontent.

Boundaries are both physical and emotional. Physical boundaries include the ideas of who can touch us, and how they can touch us. A random stranger in the grocery store has a different set of boundaries than your mom, for example.

If your mom hugged you, you probably wouldn’t react with shock or discomfort. Physical boundaries are important to help you feel physically safe and comfortable.

Emotional boundaries are equally as important. Boundaries in your emotions dictate how you respond to people around you. If you feel as though you are responsible for someone else’s emotional well-being, you have a low level of emotional boundaries.

People who have low emotional boundaries generally have chaotic lives – full of drama and stress.

Analyze your own emotional boundaries at the beginning of a relationship to help identify areas where you need to work. Boundaries that are too tight can be seen in a person who never lets anyone get too close.

They seem distant and self-reliant. They generally have very tight physical and emotional boundaries – no one is allowed within the rigid walls of their person.

Someone with loose boundaries is often sexually promiscuous, is easily hurt and easily angered. They have no protection or boundary line, and are in constant need of reassurance. The person with no boundaries is easily hurt – both physically and emotionally.

A healthy set of boundaries is firm, but flexible. There are definite areas that are off limits, but the boundary may change as circumstances change. At the beginning of a relationship, for example, there may be limited physical contact, but as the relationship progresses, the boundary of physical touch may change.

Emotionally, someone may be held at arm’s length until they have shown themselves to be trustworthy and secure. Not everyone will respect your boundaries – be firm in your boundary setting and choose your relationships wisely.

It is important to discuss your boundaries with your spouse. This can be handled in a calm and friendly manner, letting your spouse know that you value your relationship and there are certain restrictions to the relationship.

Boundary setting is a continual process and can lead to a sense of self-worth and self-appreciate. It is exciting to know that you can be your true self with another person, and that they understand and know the real you. Don’t be afraid to establish relationship boundaries at the beginning of a new relationship – they set the stage for a lasting and secure relationship.

Having boundaries in your marriage will keep you and your spouse on the right path to a healthy marriage. Boundaries will not prevent you from having marriage issues but without them your problems will probably be much bigger. Boundaries can apply to money, relationships or behaviors. Set them according to your needs and you will be surprised how much it helps your marriage.

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Accepting to Improve your Married Life

Do you know what things in your marriage you have the ability to improve and the things you cannot improve? Would you admit that there are some things your spouse can change but you can’t? Do you accept that you are who you are and that you are responsible for defining who you are? Can you accept that change is inevitable in your life and in your marriage?

If you answered yes to one or all of these questions then you are off to the start of improving your marriage. If you are willing to accept, you have the ability to get through marital obstacles, even when it seems like you won’t be able to. For instance, if your spouse did something this morning that was uncalled for but in the scheme of things is not that big a deal, you could accept it and move on. The uncalled for action, can be viewed as, a temporary annoyance.

When you can accept things in life, including you and your spouse, you find a way to take control. When you are in control, it helps you to see how you can improve your marriage. When you learn to accept you will learn to discover you.

Individuality is personal, which philosophers over generalize this subject. Many people in the world believe that when we act the same way at all times, we have established our identity. Politically incorrect! We have emotions, thoughts, behaviors, actions, and have been plagued by a world of influences both good and bad. Each day we will feel something new, which causes our personality to reflect on these changes. Therefore, when you see someone laughing one minute and crying the next, you are seeing a shift in emotions, which is a normal pattern of identity for this person. Unless the persons eyes change, behaviors change dramatically, friends change regularly, etc, and you are seeing common behaviors.

We live in a world that desensitizes us. We are surrounding by billions of influences on television, in the media, on radio, in house-holds, government, schools and so forth. Each to their own, but everyone is judging someone at some time, which is something we have to accept. We cannot change these peoples behaviors and way of thinking, but we can change ours. This is a part of learning and accepting. The best way around the world is become your own influence and allow other influences to make someone else’s life miserable. Only rely on sources that prove truthful with their actions, behaviors and words. Positive reflections are the key to living happier and crucial to a happy and healthy marriage.

Once you learn to accept you will be eager to laugh. For instance, if your spouse makes you mad you will see the humor in his or her actions. You may see the humor in your actions if you make a mistake and feed into their stupidity.

Learning to accept does not mean becoming a door mat that your spouse walks all over. Accepting means that you have the right perspective on what’s important and your words and actions reflect this.

Once you start to see the humor in life, you will feel better inside. We are involved in a unruly world filled with greedy people, envious souls, lusty tigers, and so on. We have to learn how to work around these people, accept us and move on. Once you learn to change to better you, other people may follow. Good conduct has proven far more effective than words to encourage others to change.

Do you see where this is going? You have the power to accept you and the power to change you. You also have the power to accept your spouse, the good, the bad and the ugly. Once you get to this point in life, your married life will improve. Change yourself and your spouse just might do the same.

As you grow individually you will see your life and marriage improve.

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