Marriage Issues – Tips For A More Blissful Marriage

Marriage issues are unavoidable. However, you have options and choices regarding how you handle your marital issues. Life is all about choices from the infancy stage to the grave. Some choices we make help us on with our journey and others hurt us. Many of the choices we make are wise and others are downright borderline stupidity. I’m sure you can agree with me that marriage also is about choices. How we choose to deal with our marriage problems either gets us closer to a blissful marriage or pushes us closer to divorce.

One of the tips to help with marriage issues is for you to be patient and pleasant. It’s important that you don’t let your frustration turn you into a crabby impatient nitpicking spouse. I know it’s difficult when your marriage is struggling. However, the more unapproachable you are the less likely your spouse will seek to reconcile with you.

You don’t want your spouse to have to walk on egg shells and pretend as though you are non-existent. I’m not suggesting that you pretend to be happy and delighted with your marital issues. However, if your spouse dreads any conversations about your marriage because you get nasty and come across as bitter, your marriage struggles will continue to grow.

Try being a little more pleasant to be around and watch as your spouse slowly begin to draw closer to you.

Another thing you should consider is respecting your spouse, if you haven’t done so up to now. It’s so easy to lose respect for your spouse when your heart is turning cold towards that person. I know when you are angry it’s natural to say things that you wish you had never said. You might even dismiss your spouse’s thoughts or feelings.

Please keep in-mind that we all have a bit of pride and being disrespected in some cases forces even greater distance between couples. In many instances one thing leads to another and before you know it you are destroying each others lives.

Marriage issues are unfortunately common these days and cannot be avoided. However, marital problems should not control your joy, peace and happiness. Make your home peaceful and respectful and your marriage should reflect that as well.

Make sure you treat your spouse like you want to be treated. You can overcome your marriage issues with the spouse’s help. I’m hoping and praying that you and your spouse work through your marriage issues.

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Can Ignoring Your Marriage Problems Save Your Marriage?

If your marriage is at the crisis stage you most likely are running out of ideas and patience to save your marriage. I know how you feel and I wish there was an easy solution to fix your marriage. Well, I must say that I believe we all know what it takes to fix a broken marriage. Most of the solutions are common sense. However, ignoring your problems is not a traditional way to fix your marriage but it just might be what you need to do. Let me explain.

Have you ever said to yourself, “If I could only start over things would be different”. The question I have for you is “What’s stopping you from starting over”. In fact, what is stopping you and your spouse from putting the past behind you and moving forward together?

I know it’s easier said than done. If you have been misunderstood, ignored or simply not treated like a spouse, it’s hard to forget and move forward. The only way to move forward is to forgive and then move forward. You can’t hold anger, bitterness and resentment towards your spouse and expect to be able to ignore or set aside your marital problems.

Please be aware that I’m not asking you to accept unhealthy marital practices. However, I’m suggesting that you find it in your heart to table your marriage issues and agree together to try to move forward. Make an agreement with your spouse to not bring up the past while you are trying to fix your relationship.

The key is that you both must agree to leave the heavy baggage behind and move forward while getting to know and appreciate each other again. So often, because the past issues are always standing in the way of future marital bliss, marriages come to an unhappy ending.

A good place to start is to sit down with your spouse and have a quiet, non-confrontational conversation about where your marriage is going. You know that if things remain the same your marriage will most likely not survive. Have a heart to heart talk, not argument, about a change of some sort being necessary. Here are a few suggestions to get your marriage headed in the right direction.

  • Agree in writing on some of the destructive things you will stop doing to each other to give your marriage a chance to get back on track.
  • Agree to not bring up things that have been hurting your marriage. Don’t keep picking at a wound. Give it time to heal.
  • Create new bonds, memories and joyful experiences.
  • Make a decision to love each other again. Remember, love is an action not just a word.

Ignoring your marital problems will not automatically fix your marriage. However, if you haven’t given this a try yet, why not? If you want to save your marriage you need to give this a try. It can’t hurt your marriage,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your spouse. I know that your marriage can be turned around. You can save your marriage. Please don’t give up.

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Difficult Marriage – Getting Past The Anger

Working through a difficult marriage is trying at times. You very often have thoughts of ending it or at the very least separating. Your spouse can drive you crazy sometimes and since you are a spouse you probably get on your spouse’s last nerve at times. Although marriage can be difficult at times I wholeheartedly recommend it to anyone who has a lot of patience and willingness to compromise.

Yes, dealing with a difficult marriage does bring about anger at times. It is ok sometimes to be angry. Sometimes this is a great way to move past certain problems and issues that you may have. Anger is completely normal and you will want to make sure that you are dealing with it as best as you can. You will want to be careful so that you are not setting yourself up for more problems when you are angry because of marriage difficulties.

Marriage problems can be a hard time in anyone’s life. It is something that you will have to deal with one day at a time. It is not always easy for both parties especially if you are not the person struggling for peace and happiness in your life. If you are the person that is trying to fix your marriage, you may feel angry and hurt at the other person. These feelings are completely relevant and you will have more emotions come up in the future as well.

When you are having issues with anger because of failing marriage, you will want to make sure that you are using your best judgment in the matter. You do not want to do anything to harsh because you may later regret it. Remember that once you do something or say something, it is impossible for you to take it back. You must remain calm in this situation so that you are not coming off looking irrational or childish.

There are ways that you can deal with the anger during the rough periods. You will want to sit down and calmly think about the issues first. You do want to make sure that you have clear communication as to why you are feeling frustrated and angry. Sometimes because of a lack of communication wrong assumptions are made and this can result in anger and bitterness. Getting clarity on things said or not said can go a long way in resolving your marriage difficulties. Talking things out can sometimes make a person feel much better.

In order for you to feel better and get through the marriage difficulties, you will need to move past the angry part. You have to find a way to move on and get through this difficult time. There is no real answers to how you do this, you just have to figure out the best way that you know how so that you are taking care of you first. The most important thing that you can do when you are in the midst of a difficult marriage is to take care of yourself. You need to make sure that you are staying healthy and happy because your emotions and ability to respond is directly impacted by your health.

Angry is a very passionate emotion. It can take you up or down. It will depend on the way that you are able to handle the emotion and what you intend to do with it. You do not want to let the anger that you have inside you got too far advanced. You want to make sure that you can contain it and keep it under control for your sake and the sake of others. There is no reason to fly off the handle and cause a big scene even though it may seem like it is a good idea at the time.

You can seek treatment for any anger issues that you may be dealing with. When you think that you are not able to control your anger, you can go and find help for these problems. You can get counseling and find out what is making you so angry and different steps to make it better and improve as time rolls on.

One of the best remedies for resolving your anger is to fix your marriage. Marriage is not meant to be frustrating and difficult. That’s not what you signed up for so don’t settle for a bad marriage. Your future does not include a difficult marriage. Declare this starting today and take the necessary steps to ensure that this declaration becomes your reality.

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Cheating Spouse – How To deal With It

Learning how to cope when your spouse has been unfaithful is extremely difficult. You definitely need some help understanding the pain, anger and frustration you are feeling at this time. You have many decisions that will need to be made in the upcoming days, weeks or months. Perhaps the following information will help you begin the healing process with your cheating spouse.

The first step in the healing and marriage restoration process is your spouse ending the affair. If this happens, you will no doubt have taken a big first step. It doesn’t make living in the same household any easier but it gives you a place to start rebuilding your marriage. However, ending the affair is more complicated than you might think for two reasons;

  1. It is hard to end an affair if it was both an emotional and physical affair. If there was any emotional connection it’s not that easy to end the affair. It will take total separation from the other person to allow the emotional bond to be broken.
  2. Regardless of what the cheating spouse says, you will not believe or trust that the affair has ended. This is normal and you I believe shouldn’t trust right away. Your cheating spouse must earn back your trust and respect.

The second step in the healing process is finding someone to support you. You need a person in your life that you can discuss the issue with and feel assured that your confidentiality will be maintained. Dealing with an affair can be an emotional roller coaster and you need a way to release some of the pressure that’s built up inside. Choose the right person and it will help you get through this difficult period.

It is very important to understand what’s normal under the circumstances. Don’t compare how others have dealt with infidelity to your situation. Some couples separate immediately and end their marriage. You might see others stay together but divorce a few years later. Unless you know the intimate details of those relationships, you can’t compare the fate of their marriage to yours.

You have a say so on how your situation will turn out. It’s ok to listen to the advice that you get from family and friends but at the end of the day you need to make the right decision for you and your family.

Now is not the time to make quick, emotional decisions. Let the dust settle and do what is necessary to keep your sanity but also give yourself time to do what’s right.

It’s important that you be honest with your spouse. Your spouse made a terrible mistake and one that he or she may regret for the rest of his or her life. Don’t compound the mistake by making saying what your spouse wants to hear. Tell your spouse exactly haw you feel and don’t sugar coat your intentions. Keep in mind that if you decide not to separate or divorce right away, there is nothing that can stop you from doing so down the road.

Learning how to deal with a cheating spouse is not easy or something that anyone should have to endure. Unfortunately because we are imperfect beings, it happens way too often.
I pray that your marriage can survive this infidelity. Don’t give up without a fight.

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Setting Healthy Boundaries In Marriage

Every marriage is a series of give and take – sometimes you give more, sometimes you take more. A healthy marriage moves back and forth between the two areas, with ease and understanding.

When a marriage is in its beginning stages, it is important to set healthy boundaries to ensure the success of the relationship. If boundaries are not set, either one or the other of the members of the relationship may begin to feel imposed upon, and will be unhappy in the relationship. This leads to breakup and discontent.

Boundaries are both physical and emotional. Physical boundaries include the ideas of who can touch us, and how they can touch us. A random stranger in the grocery store has a different set of boundaries than your mom, for example.

If your mom hugged you, you probably wouldn’t react with shock or discomfort. Physical boundaries are important to help you feel physically safe and comfortable.

Emotional boundaries are equally as important. Boundaries in your emotions dictate how you respond to people around you. If you feel as though you are responsible for someone else’s emotional well-being, you have a low level of emotional boundaries.

People who have low emotional boundaries generally have chaotic lives – full of drama and stress.

Analyze your own emotional boundaries at the beginning of a relationship to help identify areas where you need to work. Boundaries that are too tight can be seen in a person who never lets anyone get too close.

They seem distant and self-reliant. They generally have very tight physical and emotional boundaries – no one is allowed within the rigid walls of their person.

Someone with loose boundaries is often sexually promiscuous, is easily hurt and easily angered. They have no protection or boundary line, and are in constant need of reassurance. The person with no boundaries is easily hurt – both physically and emotionally.

A healthy set of boundaries is firm, but flexible. There are definite areas that are off limits, but the boundary may change as circumstances change. At the beginning of a relationship, for example, there may be limited physical contact, but as the relationship progresses, the boundary of physical touch may change.

Emotionally, someone may be held at arm’s length until they have shown themselves to be trustworthy and secure. Not everyone will respect your boundaries – be firm in your boundary setting and choose your relationships wisely.

It is important to discuss your boundaries with your spouse. This can be handled in a calm and friendly manner, letting your spouse know that you value your relationship and there are certain restrictions to the relationship.

Boundary setting is a continual process and can lead to a sense of self-worth and self-appreciate. It is exciting to know that you can be your true self with another person, and that they understand and know the real you. Don’t be afraid to establish relationship boundaries at the beginning of a new relationship – they set the stage for a lasting and secure relationship.

Having boundaries in your marriage will keep you and your spouse on the right path to a healthy marriage. Boundaries will not prevent you from having marriage issues but without them your problems will probably be much bigger. Boundaries can apply to money, relationships or behaviors. Set them according to your needs and you will be surprised how much it helps your marriage.

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Accepting to Improve your Married Life

Do you know what things in your marriage you have the ability to improve and the things you cannot improve? Would you admit that there are some things your spouse can change but you can’t? Do you accept that you are who you are and that you are responsible for defining who you are? Can you accept that change is inevitable in your life and in your marriage?

If you answered yes to one or all of these questions then you are off to the start of improving your marriage. If you are willing to accept, you have the ability to get through marital obstacles, even when it seems like you won’t be able to. For instance, if your spouse did something this morning that was uncalled for but in the scheme of things is not that big a deal, you could accept it and move on. The uncalled for action, can be viewed as, a temporary annoyance.

When you can accept things in life, including you and your spouse, you find a way to take control. When you are in control, it helps you to see how you can improve your marriage. When you learn to accept you will learn to discover you.

Individuality is personal, which philosophers over generalize this subject. Many people in the world believe that when we act the same way at all times, we have established our identity. Politically incorrect! We have emotions, thoughts, behaviors, actions, and have been plagued by a world of influences both good and bad. Each day we will feel something new, which causes our personality to reflect on these changes. Therefore, when you see someone laughing one minute and crying the next, you are seeing a shift in emotions, which is a normal pattern of identity for this person. Unless the persons eyes change, behaviors change dramatically, friends change regularly, etc, and you are seeing common behaviors.

We live in a world that desensitizes us. We are surrounding by billions of influences on television, in the media, on radio, in house-holds, government, schools and so forth. Each to their own, but everyone is judging someone at some time, which is something we have to accept. We cannot change these peoples behaviors and way of thinking, but we can change ours. This is a part of learning and accepting. The best way around the world is become your own influence and allow other influences to make someone else’s life miserable. Only rely on sources that prove truthful with their actions, behaviors and words. Positive reflections are the key to living happier and crucial to a happy and healthy marriage.

Once you learn to accept you will be eager to laugh. For instance, if your spouse makes you mad you will see the humor in his or her actions. You may see the humor in your actions if you make a mistake and feed into their stupidity.

Learning to accept does not mean becoming a door mat that your spouse walks all over. Accepting means that you have the right perspective on what’s important and your words and actions reflect this.

Once you start to see the humor in life, you will feel better inside. We are involved in a unruly world filled with greedy people, envious souls, lusty tigers, and so on. We have to learn how to work around these people, accept us and move on. Once you learn to change to better you, other people may follow. Good conduct has proven far more effective than words to encourage others to change.

Do you see where this is going? You have the power to accept you and the power to change you. You also have the power to accept your spouse, the good, the bad and the ugly. Once you get to this point in life, your married life will improve. Change yourself and your spouse just might do the same.

As you grow individually you will see your life and marriage improve.

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Is It Wrong To Spy On Your Spouse?

Marriage is supposed to be about togetherness and trust, right? If you can’t trust your spouse then, who can you trust? Well, for sure I think you can trust your parents, unless they have given you a reason not to trust them. I guess, it’s the same with your spouse. You should probably trust your spouse until he or she has given you a reason not to.

However, just because you trust your spouse that doesn’t mean that you should be naïve and find yourself one day blind sided by an affair. There is a difference between being trusting and being stupid. There are a lot of heart-broken divorcees who wish they were less trusting and had their eyes open a little wider.

So, do I think it’s wrong to spy on your spouse? No, I don’t find anything wrong with looking into your spouse’s activities, especially if you have reasons to do so. However, I think there should be a reason to do so.

Of course there are varying degrees of spying to be done. For example, you could be spying by listening in on phone calls or reading text messages on your spouse’s phone.
This is what I call surface level spying. You are just snooping around doing your spousal due diligence. We do need to keep our spouses on their toes and we need to be kept in check as well.

Now, if your spouse has given you reasons to be suspicious, then you might take spying on your spouse to the next level. You might need to show up at your spouse’s job or hang-out spot unexpected and see what’s going on.

I have a brother who was changing jobs and my sister in-law showed up on his last day to surprise him. She was surprised to find out how friendly and disrespectful some of the ladies in his office were. There wasn’t any hanky panky going on but the relationships were not as professional as his wife would have preferred.

I say all of that to simply point out that you can often times learn a lot by showing up at a significant others work place. Your spouse can’t easily hide at work the fact that he or she might have someone else of significance in their life.

You can also learn a lot by visiting hang-out spots and keeping an eye out on credit card charges, phone bills or bank withdrawals. If there is someone else, one of these items will show signs of it.

You have the right to spy on your spouse. Just make sure it’s warranted and go about it the right way.

The thing you should be doing at the same time is strengthening your marriage. Build up barriers in your marriage, so that neither you nor your spouse will give in to the temptation to cheat. The closer you are the harder it will be for you or your spouse to have an affair. I hope this helps you. If you need more tips on saving, maintaining or strengthening your marriage, please read through some of the other articles posted on the site.  Remember, strong marriages take committed effort.

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Cheating Husband – How To Salvage The Marriage

I’m sorry if your cheating husband has thrown away your marriage and future by committing adultery. There is no simple way to explain why he cheated or know for sure if your husband will have another affair. There is however a need for you to try to move beyond his unfaithfulness.  You have to move forward to relieve some of the stress that you are feeling today.

Let me be honest and say that with all my heart I believe your marriage can be restored. I know it’s hard to imagine such a thing happening when you are so angry, bitter and disappointed. Saving your marriage after cheating comes down to two basic principles.

  1. Learn to forgive and move forward.
  2. Decide upon discovering the cheating by your husband, to throw in the towel and move forward without him.

It’s not an easy choice one way or the other. There will be pain and suffering as you move forward and if you decide to stick it out, there will be quite a bit of pain.

Don’t let your cheating husband’s poor decision making ruin your life. I know that you are probably a little confused right now. Don’t be. Take your time and figure things out before you decide what to do.

How To Salvage Your Marriage

You might be struggling with your emotions concerning your marriage.  One of the keys to restore your marriage is to be in control. If you are out of control (emotionally and physically) it will be hard to rebuild the trust.

I would recommend that you take some time and figure out what to do next. Unless you are in danger of being physically abused, why rush getting back together. Don’t make a rash decision that you will regret for the rest of your life. You will no doubt be tempted to throw your cheating husband out and you have every right to. However, how can you rebuild your marriage if your husband isn’t with you?

What I have found useful is when couples agree on the following. The husband agrees to end the affair and his wife agrees to not decide right away whether to forgive and move forward.

The first order of business is for the husband to stop cheating. This seems pretty straight forward but it’s not always that easy. Your husband could be emotionally attached to his lover or he could be too selfish to give her up. He must end the affair before your healing can begin.

The next order of business is for you to de-stress. You need to find an outlet to make sure that this unfortunate circumstance doesn’t lead to long-term health issues. I know of a 25 year old girl who was so stressed in her marriage that she had a serious stroke. She had no way to relieve stress. Don’t let the rage, bitterness and frustration ruin your health and life.

If you plan on saving your marriage, develop a plan to do it. Don’t let your emotional instability lead you through this painful experience.

Best wishes, in recovering from your cheating husband’s bad decision.

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Why Your Marriage Hasn’t Turned Out How You Expected It To

Once upon a time, you were madly in-love or at least infatuated with your spouse and no one could tell you that you weren’t a match made in heaven. Then after a few months or years together, you most likely realized that you weren’t the perfect couple. In fact, you probably were or still are questioning, why did I get married? Can you relate to any of this?

Well, if your marriage hasn’t turned out the way you expected it to, don’t blame your spouse. At least don’t lay all the blame on your spouse. I’m pretty sure that you have played a major role in shaping the marriage that you are now stuck with.

Please know that I’m not suggesting that your spouse has no responsibility to accept for the state of affairs in your relationship. What I’m saying is that there are two things that I suspect has occurred which are contributing factors to your unhappiness and struggling marriage.

  1. Your expectations or assumptions going into the marriage were wrong.
  2. You changed a couple of months or years into the marriage.


If you were to be honest, wouldn’t you say that you expected your marriage to be perfect? Who would of thought that fighting and anger would be present in your marriage? I’m sure you didn’t see it coming.

The problem with wrong expectations is that they can ruin a marriage. When expectations are not met this can lead to frustration, anger, disappointment and if you are not careful, infidelity. The good news is that expectations can be adjusted along your marital journey.

Please don’t think I’m talking about settling. What I’m suggesting is that you don’t continue to hold onto expectations that will never be met. If you do, you will forever be frustrated and the longer it goes on the more bitter you will become.Take a step back and examine your priorities and make sure that you and your spouse work together on the important things that bind you together. Don’t let anything come between you.

You Changed

I know it’s hard to admit it but your expectations might not be met because you changed them. You can perhaps look at it another way. Maybe you didn’t change but your real characteristics are now coming to light.

What I have found over the years is that individuals find a way to mask their real personalities for the sake of love, peace and happiness. The problem is that after a few years of marriage, the masking starts to be undone. There is a desire to please self instead of one’s partner. This results in tension, fights and a frustrated husband and wife.

Whether you changed or not is not really the issue. What is an issue is that what you previously found cute and adorable in your spouse now irritates you to death. It’s worse now because you are comfortable, letting your spouse know exactly how you feel.

I would recommend that you take a step back and reflect on your behavior over the last year or couple of years. Are you more or less tolerant than you use to be? Do you have control over your communication to your spouse? Are you encouraging or discouraging your spouse?

I’m delighted that you are taking steps to improve your marriage. There are so many couples who divorce without ever trying to fix their marriage. You don’t have to be like the folks who decide to throw in the towel without fighting for their marriage. You can save your marriage today.

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4 Things You Will Lose If Infidelity Sneaks Into Your Marriage

I have no doubt that infidelity will cause life altering changes to any marriage or relationship. There is no way to escape the pain, bitterness and uncertainty about the future. For some couples the loss is so great that recovery from infidelity is too big a mountain to climb. For other couples forgiveness and reconciliation comes quicker. However, quicker doesn’t make it any easier. There are some key things that are likely to be lost if an affair occurs.

4 Things You Will Lose If Infidelity Sneaks Into Your Marriage

Emotional Stability – refers to the state of being able to have the appropriate feelings about the common experiences and being able to act in a rational manner. Stability means to be emotionally and physically predictable and not readily moved. People that are emotionally stable are able to tolerate the day to day strains and stresses by not getting emotionally upset, anxious or angry.

It goes without saying that after an affair is uncovered, emotional stability will be hard to achieve. There might be some hours of stability while something else has your attention but the strain and stress of thinking about the affair and the future of your relationship will be overbearing at times.

Sense Of Trust – belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc., or assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. I’m confident that you will agree that there is no sense of trust when cheating has occurred. All trust is gone once adultery has occurred and it takes purposeful steps to regain that sense of trust. For some folks it takes years to get it back.

Security – When I think about security what comes to mind is the state of being protected and safe from harm or freedom from fear or anxiety. Feeling safe and not vulnerable when infidelity occurs is unlikely. You feel hurt, disappointed and your heart is crushed. You have fears of your marriage or relationship ending and also fear of the unknown. You have so many questions and very few answers when you first find out about an affair. You can feel secure again but it’s not something that happens quickly for most folks.

Financial Wellbeing – To achieve financial wellbeing you must learn how to make educated and informed decisions about managing money, know how to use credit wisely and discover ways to save and invest money to plan for the future and for retirement. When you have a state of financial well-being, you are able to pay your bills without stress or anxiety even when you have debts to pay off or unexpected expenses.

It’s difficult to focus on your financial wellbeing when you are fighting to either save or end your relationship because of infidelity. Your financial future is on-hold until you know where your marriage or relationship is going. Will you be able to stay in your current residence is more of a pressing issue. You will probably be at war initially with your cheating partner so finances will be a strain unless both of you are financially solvent.

You may or may not know that current statistics show that over 50% of the couples together today will have to deal with some form of infidelity in their relationship. I’m being conservative with the percentage. However, you don’t have to be lumped in with 50% crowd dealing with infidelity. Work on building barriers around your relationship to keep temptation and adultery on the outside looking in. Understand the causes and avoid them. I know it sounds simple and that’s because it is.

I hope you never have to deal with infidelity in your relationship because it is extremely painful. If you are, don’t give up on your relationship or life. Many a folks have survived infidelity and you can too.

If you have not been down that road yet, make sure you avoid it. Heed the warning signs and head it off before it sneaks into your marriage.

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