If your marriage is at the crisis stage you most likely are running out of ideas and patience to save your marriage. I know how you feel and I wish there was an easy solution to fix your marriage. Well, I must say that I believe we all know what it takes to fix a broken marriage. Most of the solutions are common sense. However, ignoring your problems is not a traditional way to fix your marriage but it just might be what you need to do. Let me explain.
Have you ever said to yourself, “If I could only start over things would be different”. The question I have for you is “What’s stopping you from starting over”. In fact, what is stopping you and your spouse from putting the past behind you and moving forward together?
I know it’s easier said than done. If you have been misunderstood, ignored or simply not treated like a spouse, it’s hard to forget and move forward. The only way to move forward is to forgive and then move forward. You can’t hold anger, bitterness and resentment towards your spouse and expect to be able to ignore or set aside your marital problems.
Please be aware that I’m not asking you to accept unhealthy marital practices. However, I’m suggesting that you find it in your heart to table your marriage issues and agree together to try to move forward. Make an agreement with your spouse to not bring up the past while you are trying to fix your relationship.
The key is that you both must agree to leave the heavy baggage behind and move forward while getting to know and appreciate each other again. So often, because the past issues are always standing in the way of future marital bliss, marriages come to an unhappy ending.
A good place to start is to sit down with your spouse and have a quiet, non-confrontational conversation about where your marriage is going. You know that if things remain the same your marriage will most likely not survive. Have a heart to heart talk, not argument, about a change of some sort being necessary. Here are a few suggestions to get your marriage headed in the right direction.
- Agree in writing on some of the destructive things you will stop doing to each other to give your marriage a chance to get back on track.
- Agree to not bring up things that have been hurting your marriage. Don’t keep picking at a wound. Give it time to heal.
- Create new bonds, memories and joyful experiences.
- Make a decision to love each other again. Remember, love is an action not just a word.
Ignoring your marital problems will not automatically fix your marriage. However, if you haven’t given this a try yet, why not? If you want to save your marriage you need to give this a try. It can’t hurt your marriage,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your spouse. I know that your marriage can be turned around. You can save your marriage. Please don’t give up.