Not many women are equipped emotionally to deal with their husband’s affair. The initial hearing of the news knocks you off your feet so hard you can’t imagine getting back up. The sad truth is that some couples don’t make it. Surviving his affair is difficult but not impossible. You should take heart that over 80% of couples stay together after an affair. Healing of your broken heart and fractured marriage is definitely possible if that’s what you and your husband desire.
For some reason husbands cheat more between the ages of 35 to 54 and after being married for 6 years or more. I don’t think there is any known reasoning behind those stats but it just happens to be so.
I’m sure you have more questions than answers about your husband’s infidelity. Listed below are a few of the common questions wives have after their husband has cheated;
- Why won’t my husband share the details?
- Will he cheat again?
- Why did he do it?
- Will our relationship ever get back to the way it was before?
- Should I stay or should we get a divorce?
Let’s explore some of the questions noted above.
Why won’t my husband share the details?
It’s an embarrassing and awkward situation your husband has gotten himself into. On the one hand he wants to work through the affair. On the other hand he probably believes that the less he talks about the affair the quicker it will go away and your marriage can move forward. What he most likely doesn’t realize is that you need closure before any healing can occur.
Will he cheat again?
This is one of the questions that will stay with you for a long time. It will become less of an issue as you learn to trust him again. My experience has been that once you have overcome your fears you will not be consumed with wondering if your husband will cheat again. By that I mean if you are doing your best to make your marriage work and keep your husband fulfilled, you won’t worry about him cheating.
Why did he do it?
You probably know deep down inside why he cheated. Trust your gut feeling when it comes to why your husband cheated. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just one thing that led him to having an affair but rather a number of issues. Sometimes it’s just a selfish mindset that will lead a husband to have an affair or in many cases a sense of entitlement.
Will our relationship ever get back to the way it was before?
The short answer is that it certainly can. Millions of couples have overcome infidelity and there is no reason to believe that your marriage can’t. You can have a better marriage than you had before the affair.
Should I stay or should we get a divorce?
At the very least you should try to work things out. No one except you can answer this question. Don’t make a quick irrational emotional decision. Take your time and try to heal your broken heart before you decide what to do.
Healing is a requirement if you want to survive an affair. Your husband must repent and turn from his hurtful selfish behavior. You will need to be practical and patient during this difficult time. In the end you want to know that you did your part to heal your broken marriage.
Time alone will not heal your marriage. However, taking the proper actions will help you heal and survive your husband’s affair.